Hello, my name's Taylor Swift
The star who went Pop and left Country
And I did it for money
An ugly horse is what I bought

Oh, my God. Look at that hunk
You look like my next hit song
I'll be rich, just be my hun
Please?

I got all the dreamy guys
Yet everyone should feel bad for me
A break up song I will write
To head in all of the magazines

Is the Joker taken?
Wait, isn't he in Arkham?
Was gonna say that in the last sentence
I can make the bad guys good for a weekend

So, I'm walking with these dumb dogs
To make this fashion ad look sweet
Please, tell me why that white horse pops up in every scene?
Got a long list of hit singles
Eating guys' hearts like candy
Hey, hun. Can you pass the Pringles?
Wait, who is that skank?

You look like Steve from Blue's Clues
I don't have the new iPhone 6
And now neither do you
And all your clothes I'll rip
Got a long list of my lovers
Wanna be the 28th?
Cause I've got a blank space, baby
And I'll write your name

Here's the part where the video gets weird
There's a dump on the floor from that deer
Poison apple? Where's the dwarves with the long beards?
Gonna F up your car with your Golf gear

So, I'm gonna stab this big heart
Who put blood in my cake?
Don't worry bout this Sports car
These effects are clearly fake

Now, I killed my stupid lover
Time to find a brand-new bae
But I've dated a guy like you already
And I'm sure he was gay