I broke my promise on a very sharp rock
And I was possessed by something quite unfriendly
And I was haunted by a demon in my sleep
And that's how I learned how to survive

And I gave a beer to a bum that was drinking
And I gave some sauce to my bestest friends for cooking
And I gave water to all I thought were thirsty
And that's how I learned how to survive

And I gave some money to my bank for safe keeping
And I gave some money to my landlord, he was needing it
And I gave attention to the T.V. that was bleeding
And that's how I learned how to survive

And I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too
And Thursday, I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm in love

And we just ripped off a song by The Cure
But it's not the first band that we ripped off for sure
And I fed false information to the audience
And that's how I learned how to survive

And I give a thank-you to my father for leaving me
And I give a finger to my step-father for beating me
And I give props to myself for achieving
Gosh dang I'm glad that I survived
Gosh dang I'm glad that I survived

And I just handed you a giant load of gibberish
And I give love to a lover quite deserving of it
And I give thanks to all of you for listening
To the story of how we all learned how to survive