SIGNED, SOBER YOU

My third shot down, I'm in trouble I'm a newly single man, seein' double Fake a smile for all my friends Then go home alone around 2 a.m. And stumble through the front door, gone as it gets Flip the kitchen light on, there it is On the fridge, just my luck "Read this if you're drunk" Don't think about it, mister Don't even touch your phone I know you think you miss her But I promise you, you don't There's healing in the lonely Sit back, kick off your boots And you'll thank me in the morning Like you always do Signed, sober you P.S. there's pizza in the freezer, Dumb and Dumber on the TV It's so stupid, that's what you'd be To go diggin' through her Instagram If you're thinkin' 'bout that, read this again Don't think about it, mister Don't even touch your phone I know you think you miss her But I promise you, you don't There's healing in the lonely Sit back, kick off your boots And you'll thank me in the morning Like you always do Signed, sober you Signed, sober you Yeah, well remember last time that you hit her up You heard some other guy, how much does that suck? That set you back a month, yeah, trust me, old friend You don't wanna go down that road again So don't think about it, mister Don't even touch your phone I know you wanna kiss her But I promise you, you don't And there's healing in the lonely Sit back, kick off your boots And you'll thank me in the morning Like you always do Signed, sober you, yeah, yeah Signed, sober you