Mark Twain

Many years ago on the Mississippi riverboats They had men called gaugers And the job of a gauger was to hang off the side of the boat with one hand And in the other hand he had a ball of twine with a hunk a lead on the end of it He'd wield the lead around his head and let it fly into the water Wherever the water marked the twine He'd call up to the skipper and say "Marking on the twine is four fathoms" Of course day in and day out, year after year, this would get pretty monotonous Until in the 1800's a little man came along and revolutionized the whole gauging industry Instead of saying marking on the twine He cut it short and said, "Mark Twain" And in between each marking he'd fill it in with a little pattern about himself And his every day life Well if you'd been livin' at that time Coming up from a distance on the Mississippi It would have sounded like this Mark Twain Four fathoms off the starboard bow I got a gal named Cindy-Lou Feeds me gin and bake beans too Mark Twain Mark Twain Three fathoms off the starboard bow I got a friend his name is Pete Sings dirty songs down on Beel street Mark Twain Mark Twain Two fathoms off the starboard bow I've been working the river since '92 I get a penny a day and bad liquor too Mark Twain I won't save my money 'til I die They gon' bury me all but my good right eye Mark Twain Mark Twain No fathoms off the starboard bow Look out skipper pull it to the side You gon' bust your bow and split your hide Ooh, great God we done run aground Skipper gon' chase me with a big bloodhound Mark Twain