Wizard of the Hood

One time, the ICP with this shit for you And your boys to say "fuck yeah" to Yo' J, kick some of that shit about the Wizard and all that Drop a psycho beat and go on and rap, bald-headed fuck Aw shit homeboy, you should've seen me I was flipped at the party, drank a fifth of MD Straight passed out on this mother's bed Seven cans of brew going through my head Dreamin', I was sippin' on Faygo In my dope house and here comes a tornado, huh I can't run nowhere 'Cause the whole damn house was spinnin' through the air (damn) And don't laugh just yet (Your ass land in motherfuckin' Oz) bet And here comes a three and a half foot pimp With a blue zoot suit and a mack daddy limp Yo, I got a grip on my weapon 'Cause this midget motherfucker and his boys are steppin' (Oh my, look at the witch!) (You crushed and killed that wicked old bitch) And they're sayin' that I'm doomed 'Cause I killed some ho that rides on a broom Fuck this, I'm goin' back to where I stay And I'm walkin' down the yellow brick alleyway We're off to see the Wizard (Sing it high, sing it low) We're off to see the Wizard Droppin' motherfuckers all the way to Delray (Yeah, yeah) Droppin' motherfuckers all the way to Delray Well go on, motherfucker Now I'm roamin' just like a base-head Everybody know just where the alley led And don't say you don't know which way to go Yo, there go the Scarecrow I ain't playin' this bullshit no more So I whip out the nickel plated double-four Best tell my ass how to get back Or I'ma blow the straw out your fuckin' head You wanna see the Wizard? Fuck yeah, I do Get me off this pole and I'll come with you You know the Wiz? Yeah, I used to roll for him Then he gave me out a G, now I got a bullet for him Now me and the crow was walkin' on bricks Spittin' and cussin' and holdin' our dicks Thinkin' damn, this ain't how the movie go I ain't seen one mutherfuckin' rainbow Ain't a fresh pair of kicks in the land, just what you thought (There go the Tin Man) How to get to the Wizard? "What the fuck? I ain't sayin' shit 'til you oil me up" "I don't see any motherfuckin oil, bro" "Oil me up with a forty of Red Bull" Ha, just like the book said Tin Man was stumblin' like a crackhead Old ass rusted out metal but we was on our way to see the Wizard of the Ghetto (Yeah, yeah, yeah) (Somewhere over the rainbow) Fuck up, bitch, damn, this ain't Kansas, ho This is Southwest motherfuckin' Ghetto Zone, bitch So pick yo' skank ass up and you and Toto get the fuck on Yeah, we've come a long way (Drop the motherfuckers all way to Delray) And I'm a wonderland story book tourist Grippin' that .44, we comin' up to the forest Anything could be out there Lions, tigers, and maybe a bear (Hoods and hoodlums and thieves, oh my) (Hoods and hoodlums and thieves, oh my) (Hoods and hoodloms and thieves, oh my) I'ma kick somebody in they fuckin' eye Don't fuck with me at a time like this I'll send out a bullet, guaranteed won't miss So I just move and the hooks are flyin' Then come and buck with the fuckin' lion I want rings, chains, any kind of gold Or what? Or I'ma let this 9 unfold Man, fuck this, come back to Delray There you can rob mutherfuckers every day Crackheads, hoes, whatever you can name Catch all the rich ones come out the ball game (yeah) So finally we was at the castle And with the guards, we got no hassle They all just got the fuck out our way I guess even in Oz they know of Violent J We're off to see the Wizard (Sing it high, sing it low) We're off to see the Wizard Droppin' motherfuckers all the way to Delray Droppin' motherfuckers all the way to Delray Yo, where's the motherfuckin' wizard stay? Who wants to know? Violent Psychopath J I want a word with him at gun point 'Cause there's no place like Detroit Welcome to the Wizard's Kingdom The Wizard of the Ghetto, as you say Welcome to the Wizard's Kingdom Sorry motherfucker, this is where you'll stay Scarecrow, you ain't shit to me And the Lion ain't shit but a snack for three Tin Man, don't take me for a sucker I'll chew your ass up and spit bullets out, motherfucker We let it rain Seventy-nine slugs to his motherfuckin' brain Then I stepped back, cool and calm Because the Tin Man was droppin' cluster bombs Everybody know about car jackin' So me and the fellas went home mackin' Jumped in a smooth ass ride Droptop Geo says "Wiz" on the side Gripped it back to the hood where we came from And that shit was fun Next thing I knew I was back at the party Got up and was finnin' to tell everybody But then I just let it pass 'Cause I know they'll laugh at my drunk ass Droppin' motherfuckers all the way to Delray Droppin' motherfuckers all the way to Delray Louder, louder, and louder Thank you, thank you very much My next poem is a very short one Dismay, dismay, oh how there's dismay in May Thank you, thank you And now poetry from our friend, 2 Dope Fuck out of here, man Is this thing on? A beautiful butterfly came floating by And landed on my cheek, just a smidget from my eye I said to my little friend Get the fuck off me, bug! Thank you