track 14! there it goes! the penultimate :’)

there it goes was the last song i wrote for the album, and is absolutely the last chapter of the story. if this album is a novel of my year, there it goes is the final page, the conclusion, the ribbon that ties it up and bitter sweetly gives it to whoever needs it most.

i wrote there it goes in bergen with @matiastellez and @defonbrune – a lot of this record felt like fate, and the creation of this song is maybe the most fateful of all. i initially cancelled this trip because i got so ill after spending the week at decoy, but i went home and went to yoga and to the flower market and recovered enough to decide to fly out for a final two days to write. i got there and pretty much threw there it goes up onto the page; i think i had this subconscious need to musically and lyrically close this era of my life, and i remember singing ‘i’m back in london’ just into the room and thinking. ah. i know what song i’m writing.

it’s a song about closure and healing and the power of friendship and flowers and flights and wine fuelled kisses with strangers. it’s a song about coming home to yourself after months of fighting your own shadow, a song about finally being happy exactly where you are, no longer wishing yourself back into a past you couldn’t have even if you wanted it. about realising you don’t really want it anymore anyway.

it’s a song about letting go, truly and properly, and the magic that can surround you when you do.

— via Instagram

‘There It Goes’ is almost a sister song to ‘Two Weeks Ago’. It was another screenshot of my mind. I’d just gone back to London after touring, we’d thrown a house party and I’d gone to a yoga class to try to get better. We were hanging up art. I was going on dates. And that song was so important to me, because this whole album was a reflection of my life, and I needed a song that tied the bow. I couldn’t let this record exist without a song that reminds me—and tells everyone else—that there is an ending to this. There’s a lyric on the song: ‘The comedown of closure/The girls and I do yoga/I wake up and it’s October/The loss is yours.’ Suddenly everything is a bit boring in the nicest way ever. You’re not angry. You’re not bitter. You’re just going to yoga or going on a walk. I find it really moving to talk about that song. I also learnt that you can dig your heels in and think, ‘I refuse to feel anything apart from this. I only want to feel this way forever, for good or for bad.’ But the fact is, you just can’t. One day you just will wake up and you won’t feel the way you did. And that’s a good thing. It’s good to move along with the tide.

— via Apple Music