I've been holding out so long
Playing Madden all alone
Sports, I miss you
Checking Twitter on my phone
On my barstool, all alone
Sports, I miss you

Well I've been watching crazy things
Cornhole, Robot Fighting League
Sports, I miss you
And I've been reading way too much
And been cleaning way too much
Sports, I miss you

What's it come to man?
I just miss the days where I could sit on my couch
And watch Tiger in his Sunday red like I'm supposed to
Grab a case of beer
And watch the Leafs lose in round 1 like we're used to

We're missing so much
No Olympics coming up
Oh the pain
Roger Goodell's awkward hugs
Astros batters getting plugged
Oh, such a shame

Well the classics aren't enough
I miss everything so much
It's heartbreaking
Curveballs, heaters down the pipe
Buzzer beaters, tickled twine
Crowds going crazy