[Meghan Trainor:]
My new single has
The exact same beat as
"All About That Bass" had
It's just a bit faster

And this video's trash
It is just a rehash
Of the vid for that smash
It's just not quite as good

I feel dizzy from paint fume
Can't he spray paint this in a different room
Meghan this production wraps at noon
So just sing your stupid tune
They're doing these extreme close-ups of my lips
It's guaranteed to make you squeamish
These sets were made by a little kid
That's why they look like shit

In my last song I attacked women with skinny thighs
And mocked them for their size
Now in this song I say all men ever do is lie

[Guys in background:]
You're not nice

[Meghan:]
This video
Is just a commercial
For this new HP tablet
They gave me cash
Millions of dollars
To pretend I use this piece of shit

I didn't spend
Much on production
That's why this video looks so cheap
My fame and success
Might not last much longer
So that cash I'm gonna keep

To drive online traffic
In key demographics
We should use this tactic
Fill this vid with webstars

The fans are devoted
They will promote it

[People:]
Wait a second hold it
Is that why we're here Bart?

[Meghan:]
Every time a man makes a sound
He's definitely lying
Whoa! Hey! That's a generalization
You're men so your both lying

[Santa:]
Meghan it's not fair to say that all men lie lie lie
Some are naughty, some are nice
Here's my naughty and nice list
Some are good guys
You're a man so you lie

[Elf:]
Santa is dead
He was killed by Meghan
But Christmas must still go on
Since you killed him
You must replace him
Put on this Santa suit and be gone

[Meghan:]
I have a plan
To get my revenge
On all the stupid men and boys
It's the perfect gift
For everyone of them
Much better than Christmas toys

[Dad:] Well what do we have here Timmy, looks like you got a present from Santa Claus

[Son:] Ooh gimme gimme.....What the fuck? An HP? THAT BASTARD GOT ME AN HP. AH I WANTED AN iPad. CHRISTMAS IS RUINED

[Dad:] Oh we are

[Mom:] Really Brad, you got him an HP?

[Dad:] I didn't get that OK? I-

[Mom:] I want a divorce, merry Christmas asshole

[Dad:] Honey! No wait! I didn't do it! It wasn't me it was.. Who did get that?