i don’t know what to say Lyrics
I'll see you at the gates when it gets dark
You jump the wall, I’ll find a place to park
Kill the angels if they're keeping guard
How do I start when you don't know what to say?
No, I don’t know what to say
[Verse 2]
You said the world's already full enough
Of defeated people and you would not be one
Always a choice to move yourself along
And find better and I hope that's where you are
Yeah, I know that's where you are
[Verse 3]
A doppelgänger with a telling scar
I saw the universe hidden in your heart
Wish I told you this before it got too dark
Where do you start when you know it has to end?
[Bridge]
How a flower in the rain
Only grows more when it's grey
You just shined on brighter
Making gold out of the pain
"I can die, but I can't break," you said
"You can rule, I won't obey"
As long as I'm still smiling
Well, I don’t know what to say
[Instrumental Outro]
About
Described as “an orchestra-meets-metal piece,” “i don’t know what to say” talks about Oliver Sykes’ friend Aidan who passed away because of cancer. Although it sounds like a posthumous song, it was originally written before he died. Oli also talked about the song to NME:
It’s me nervously saying things because I didn’t get to see him before he died. It was scary to think about, because how can you talk to someone before they die? You can’t tell them it’s going to be alright when you know it’s not. It’s also about how brave he was. If I had a time stamp put on my life I’d just be so selfish and scared and be like, “Fuck the world.” How do you even get out of bed with that weighing down on you?
Aidan was at the Bring Me The Horizon’s Teenage Cancer Trust show at Royal Albert Hall and Oli spread some words for him before playing “Drown”:
Sadly, on March 3rd, 2017, his cancer returned and Sykes talked about it in his Instagram account:
This week we were hit with the devastating news that Aidan’s cancer has returned, with a tumour in his neck and bone marrow metastases throughout, and the NHS has no more treatment they can offer him. His life expectancy is short. We are desperately searching for some pioneering treatment that could save his life, there are cases of people beating this disease in US and Mexico—but it’s going to take not only a miracle but a lot of help from everyone that can.
We refuse to give up, but even if surgery is not an option, we want to make sure that Aidan has the funds to see some amazing fucking sunsets in some amazing places. Whatever happens, the money will be helping those who need help beating this ruthless disease. […]
Unfortunately, he died on 24 April, 2017.
Q&A
Find answers to frequently asked questions about the song and explore its deeper meaning
I spent a good chunk of my childhood with him, but at the same time, because we’re not related and I don’t see him on a daily basis, I didn’t know if I had the right to. On the wall of the studio, we had something Aidan had said before he died: “The world’s already full enough of defeated people, I will not be one.” I read it and thought I could write about it. When you know someone is definitely going to die, I don’t know what to say. You can’t go, “It’s gonna be alright.” Everything else in the world seems so futile. Again, just like the stuff with my relationships, you want to sweep it under the carpet and go, “That’s behind us now,” but I felt very guilty about the fact that I didn’t get to see him before he went. I knew I should have just gone. You just don’t know what’s right or what’s wrong at that point. It’s just a crazy thing. Things just started coming out.
Oli wrote the lyrics about his friend Aidan. He was at our Teenage Cancer Trust show at the Royal Albert Hall after he’d recovered from cancer, and Oli gave him a shoutout onstage. But unfortunately the cancer came back and Aidan passed away. This track is in his honour. He wrote this thing before he died—like a poem, but not really—and all the lyrics are taken from that. It’s a very personal one for Oli, and it felt like an appropriate way to end the album.
- 2.MANTRA
- 4.in the dark
- 6.ouch
- 7.medicine
- 10.fresh bruises
- 11.mother tongue
- 12.heavy metal
- 13.i don’t know what to say
