[Intro]
Will the real slim shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

[Verse 1]
Hey Saint Nicholas
Merry Christmas and my condolences
Sorry to interrupt your avocado toast and guacamole chips
You white bitch, nice clique, that's so cute
I haven't seen a boy band dance like that since '02
America's Got Talent, but you don't, poor you
Nice black and white video Nick, you broke dude?
By the way, that invitation you sent to my address
Got caught in my junk-mail, punk, faggot
Lemme calm down 'fore I start spazzin' batshit
And dropping rappers faster than lean and Xanax tablets
Oh shit! I'm screaming
Sorry Nick, but you need more than your panhandlers to get Marshall to lower his damn standards
So here's Stan I'll let Mariah Carey my orgasm, on her face
Now that's nuts! Like your acting
I just ordered food and one of your rappers door dashed me
And asked for the tip, I didn't know what he meant
So I gave him the dick, blew him a kiss, then hocked a loogie 'n' spit
On a conceited Mitchell little poopy bitch!
OK Stanley, you need to relax 'fore you relapse
Conceited throwin' fists around, everyone cover your knee-caps!
Look over your shoulder Nick, that's your career it's over Nick
It's so ridiculous the way you still hope and spit
I slowly drip the passion of the Holy ghost
And you're just Holy shit!

Give me a second, lemme pray for him
Okay we're done! Let's get back to it!

[Verse 2]
You know what rhymes with Charlie Clips?
What?
Garbage bin
What else?
MTV's cast member with the largest tits
Oh
You ain't got the heart for this, seriously
It's shaking like Parkinson's
Every bar he spits, sounds like a retarded bitch
Gargling a jar of jizz
But enough of this fat fuck clips
Someone better tell Nick, back up quick
'Fore I slash that wrist, with an axe and split
That turban on his head 'cos I rack up wins
Never heard a song so possibly dog shit (woof)
Honestly, can you stop it?
He claims there's a video sucking a dick, he's just mad that it's not his
Bitch
You're a C-tier level urban celeb
On Percocet meds, that have burnt through your head
AIDS? You should be makin' a documentary on Mariah's herpes instead
You got Suge, that's not good, everybody knows that pussy works for the feds
I could get more truth from a flat Earther with dreads who only surfs on the web
Oh wow you're a violent shooter, stop lyin' now or imma lose it
And take a shot of Jack like I am Kubrick
And shove a pool stick inside of you Nick
Why?
Just for my amusement, I like to do it, my mind is ruined
Why?
'Cos I'm influenced by Mariah's wine and Nitrous cool whip
Talkin' 'bout guns like I ain't got none
What you think? I sold them all?
That's like saying, "Woah you're tall"
To Conceited, we all know it's all false
Ayo hold up dog, who's that hoe you got?
Justina? I just seen ya, and honestly thought you were just, Cena (haha)
Plus you can't flow at all
Follow protocol and find a pro to call because overall it is over, (awww)
You airheaded
Fake fuck, slut, you suck, and will never blow up doll
Come on Nick, what's the formula bro?
Somebody please call Boredom Control
How did you cook up the corniest show
And the hardest dude on it is Corey Sharron
I'll stab him in the orbital bone with a fork
And throw a rope over this dork's sorcerer stone
But enough of this, y'all need to hang it up cunt, like abortion at home

[Outro]
Ayo stop this whack beat
Looks like Charley grew up and ate the whole chocolate factory
This dude's on the feed more than Hannah Stocking's ass cheeks
Ayo, that's an awfully hot coffee pot
Here's an army shot at Charlie's top
Nikki threw a Hail Mary
You're not even partly parked
I wonder how many Mileys popped in the parking lot
Before you came to ruin your career like Papa Doc!
And also
Fuck you Chris D'elia!
I'm just kidding man, I think you funny
Ummm, just invite me to your podcast