Tom: "Um.. I think the party's down this way. Here we go. Room 1327."
Luke: "1327? I stayed in this room last year! You wouldn’t believe what happened to me in there. There was this chick..."
Tom: "Hey hey hey! I do not need that visual image. Let's just go inside."

Tom: "Hey, can I get one of those... drinks, whatever it is. The purple stuff, that's bubbling. Yeah. Thanks."
Luke: "Oh, there she is! Hi!"
Luke: "Woot! Hey look, she’s taking it off. She's taking it off!
Tom: "Woah! That's not right."
Luke: "I did NOT know you could pierce that. Wow."

[Chorus]
The geeks come out at night
The geeks come out at night
The geeks come out at night
(the geeks come out!)
The geeks come out at night

[verse 1]
At most conventions are nerds and geeks
Who greet their favorite stars with howls and shrieks
But when they're done marveling at Bruce Campbell's chin
The room parties open- real fun begins!
Freakin' out the mundanes and several noobs
By eating live Gach out of Klingon boobs
Cleavage and food make a wonderful pair
And you an find 'em at room parties everywhere, cause
(chorus 2x)

[verse 2]
Now when geeks get dressed it's like they’re going to war
They like to dress as Sontari, Browncoats and Borg
Bat Girl, Wonder Woman and Seven Of Nine
Drinking things from where the warp core don’t shine
Princess Leia slave girl with the Death Star plans
And even one as Babs Bunny for the furry fans
Then again I think the trippiest sight I'd see
Is when a hot fan girl dresses up like me, ’cause
(chorus 2x)

[verse 3]
Now the party's jumpin', the place is packed
And Rob Balder's eatin’ Cheez Whiz off a girl's rack
But before I decide what I want to do
They start screening next season's Doctor Who
Geeks come in all kinds of wacky get-ups
There's one who's dressing like a smurf with a ninja set up
And there's a couple pirates with hooks for hands
I guess they won't get to grope Ginger or Mary-Anne
You might see a couple dressed like Leela and Fry
And you may never catch a geek without at least one die
And they got rum, and some Romulan Ale
But go easy 'cause that stuff'll make you grow a tail
It's really not a joke but you don't have to go far
To see a Klingon and a Vulcan walk into a bar
So if you wanna live like a geek some time
Come and party like it's 2999, 'cause
(chorus 2x)

Dude 1: "Dude, check out the geeks."
Dude 2: "Huh, what a bunch of freakin' losers."

Geek 1: "Ugh, mundanes."
Geek 2: "Ah, don't worry about them."

Dude 1: "Heh, heh, beam me up, Scotty!!"

Both geeks: "ERRRR, FOOTBALL!"

[Dalek voice]
Nerds, geeks, we planned for weeks
This party room has its own mystique
Get loose y'all, look at Sheryl now
Everybody everybody she's naked now
We got juice y'all, and tequila y'all
Everybody everybody cop a feel y'all
Get it out now, get the vodka out
And pour a double now, that's what I'm about
Nerds, geeks, we planned for weeks
This party room has its own mystique
Nerds, geeks, we planned for weeks
The wookie over there is starting to reek
Nerds, geeks, we planned for weeks
Luke Ski's in the corner getting ready to streak
Get drunk y'all, put a smile on
Everybody everybody he's a Cylon!
You'll admit this party was great
Or I will exterminate!

(chorus repeat and fade)

Luke: "Who's that making out with Captain Jack Sparrow?"
Tom: "Um... looks like Captain Jack Harkness."
Luke: "Figures."