[Verse 1: Dan Reynolds]
A, B, C, D, E, F, G
Come on over here, play with me
My momma, she even buy me a Wii
H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P
Homie in the toilet just like me
Don't sprinkle when you tinkle

[Pre-Chorus: Aja Volkman, Dan Reynolds]
All the boys and the girls are playin' tag
And patty cake, jump rope, capture the flag
I don't want any part of that (A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K)
I'ma fry some ants with my magnifying glass (L, M, N, O, P)

[Chorus: Dan Reynolds, Aja Volkman]
Hi, my name is Danny (I'll always love you)
And it rhymes with words like whammy (I will protect you)
And my teachers, they can't stand me (And I will tuck you in at night)
But I sleep in Batman Jammies
Yes I do

[Verse 2: Dan Reynolds]
Q, R, S, T, U and me
No girls allowed they all got cooties
Circle-dot-dot, that's the cootie shot
V, W, X, Y, and Z
Why's the lunch lady always winkin' at me?
She's got a mustache; it grows like a tree

[Pre-Chorus: Aja Volkman, Dan Reynolds]
All the boys and the girls let's come on over
Play kickball, hopscotch, and red rover
I don't want any part of that(A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K)
I'ma hit and base you with my baseball bat (L, M, N, O, P)

[Chorus: Dan Reynolds, Aja Volkman]
Hi, my name is Danny (I'll always love you)
And it rhymes with words like whammy (I will protect you)
And my teachers, they can't stand me (And I will tuck you in at night)
But I sleep in Batman Jammies
Yes I...
Hi, my name is Danny (Don't be afraid of me)
And it rhymes with words like whammy (I'm just a sweet cootie)
And my teachers, they can't stand me (Who will love you till the end of time)
But I sleep in Batman Jammies
Yes, I do

[Verse 3: Dan Reynolds]
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Daddy told me there's no girls in heaven
Hallelujah on the G.I. Joes
8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13
Miss Jacobson has a head like a bean
I wonder if if rains it'll grow

[Pre-Chorus: Aja Volkman, Dan Reynolds]
In class, pass notes on Valentine's
All the boys and the girls are making eyes
I don't know what you're talkin' 'bout (A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K)
If I catch your eye, I'ma poke it out (L, M, N, O, P)

[Chorus: Dan Reynolds]
Hi, my name is Danny (I'll always love you)
And it rhymes with words like whammy (I will protect you)
And my teachers, they can't stand me (And I will tuck you in at night)
But I sleep in Batman Jammies
Hi, my name is Danny (Don't be afraid of me)
And it rhymes with words like whammy (I'm just a sweet cootie)
And my teachers, they can't stand me (Who will love you till the end of time)
But I sleep in Batman Jammies
Yes, I do