What do
Crystal Gayle, Dorothy Hamill
Don King, Lyle Lovett
And Gloria Steinem have in common

They are prisoners of their hairdos
Prisoners of their hair
If they changed the way they combed their hair
They'd never be recognized anywhere
They're prisoners

What do
Stevie Nicks, Leon Redbone
Pee Wee Herman, Tom Wolfe
And Pope John Paul have in common

They are prisoners of their wardrobes
Prisoners of their clothes
If they changed the outfits that they wear
Nobody would stop and stare
They're prisoners

It's a little tragic, it's a little weird
ZZ Top are prisoners of their beards
Imagine them weightless in outer space
Beards and shades flyin' all over the place

Don't worry, that'll never happen, except maybe in a music video
There's a very fine line between a groove and rut
Fine line between eccentric and people who are just plain nuts
Aw, but why should I concern myself
With such superficial fare
'Cause I'm a prisoner of these stupid thoughts
Which is worse than being a prisoner of my hairdo

I wonder if Crystal Gayle has ever had a bad dream about being trapped with Reverened Al Sharpton and Mary Travers, being chased by a wild pack of scissors toward a swimming pool filled with Nair. Oh my God what a nightmare for Crystal Gayle
Wake up Crystal Gayle. Oh no, here comes Dolly Parton. What is she doing in this song?
She's only a prisoner of a wig. Get out of here Dolly, you don't belong here. Oh my God. Oh my God Crystal Gayle. What a nightmare, Crystal Gayle


Wake up!