[Verse 1]
Call me morbid, call me pale
I've spent six years on your trail
Six long years on your trail
Call me morbid, call me pale
I've spent six years on your trail
Six full years of my life on your trail

[Bridge]
And if you have five seconds to spare
Then I'll tell you the story of my life

[Chorus]
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
I went to London and I
I booked myself in at the Y.W.C.A
I said "I like it here, can I stay?
I like it here, can I stay?
Do you have a vacancy for a back-scrubber?"

[Verse 2]
She was left behind and sour
And she wrote to me equally dour
She said "In the days when you were hopelessly poor
I just liked you more"

[Chorus]
And if you have five seconds to spare
Then I'll tell you the story of my life

[Chorus]
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
I went to London and I
I booked myself in at the Y.W.C.A
I said "I like it here, can I stay?
I like it here, can I stay?
Do you have a vacancy for a back-scrubber?"

[Verse 3]
Call me morbid, call me pale
I've spent too long on your trail
Far too long chasing your tail

[Bridge]
And if you have five seconds to spare
Then I'll tell you the story of my life

[Chorus 2]
Sixteen, clumsy and shy - that's the story of my life
Sixteen, clumsy and shy: the story of my life
That's the story of my life
That's the story of my life
That's the story of my life, the story of my life
That's the story of my life
That's the story of my life
That's the story of my life
That's the story of my life
That's the story of my life