Cover art for Queenian Rhapsody by Horrible Histories
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Queenian Rhapsody Lyrics

[Mary]
Is this a fair trial
Or just a mockery?
I am Queen Mary
No escape from your trickery
No lawyer to depend
Or witnesses to defend me

Your Honour
I killed no one
You expect me to confess
That I'd bump off Good Queen Bess
Treason
I call Walsingham
Lord Altering 'em
Cause these letters are fakes

[Walsingham]
Phoney
You're going down
I can prove they're real

[Mary]
And I was Queen of Scotland once, you clown

[Walsingham]
Please do not carry on
You are guilty, now admit it
[Jury]
Mary's refusing to admit her guilt
What a shock, what a shame
A complete and utter scandal
Throckmorton and Babington
You said Queen Bess, you'd have her done in
To the scaffold! To the scaffold!
To the scaffold! To the scaffold!
To the scaffold she must go

[Mary]
I'm Queen, you're vile
I demand a fair trial

[Jury]
Goodness gracious, is that the time already?
Don't spare the horses, time to go home

[Elizabeth]
If she's guilty then I must sentence her to die
But that would make me a killer Queen, so I
Scary
Don't want to do this, Mary
Not gonna get out
Of signing her death warranty
Her death really matters
She made me enemies
Her death really matters to me

[Mary]
That's not how my wig goes

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Genius Annotation

‘Queenian Rhapsody’ is a parody of the song ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ as sung by the British group Queen, and tells of Mary, Queen of Scotts' trial and following execution at the hands of Lord Walsingham and Queen Elizabeth I.

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