Cover art for Tommy Two-Phones by Jake Palumbo

Tommy Two-Phones

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Tommy Two-Phones Lyrics

I like a natural woman, I'm not attracted to lipstick
Respectful conversation leads to lips on my dipstick
White girls love Dipset, but don't be a dips hit
Nothing unsolicited, demos or d*** pics
Wait till they request new material
I ask 'em how her grades & baby what's you're favorite cereal?
Can I use your shower? Make a smoothie in your blender?
Plenty women off the internet
Never used Tinder
I'm so lovable but scummy
For big-ticket shopping best to have your own money
But I always got the check
Always eat it in the morning
She tells me I'm a jerk, but she sorta miss my snoring
And it's been 10 months since I seen her in her bra
So let's exchange clean test results & schmang raw
We about to get it in on the ride home
"Yo who the fuck is Jenny??"
Man why she ain't dial the iPhone?!?!?

HOOK:

Only one life to life, gotta f*** while you can
Sensitive but rough, baby girl I'm your man
Dial 867-5309
I ain't Tommy Tutone, I'm Tommy Two-Phones
Two doors down in Room 269
It's only two tickets & the show's all live
You gon' love me, you gon' hate me
You gon' love me again
Love buddy, best friend
She gon' f*** me again
VERSE 2:

The internet's a big place, be careful when you creeping
GPS & check-ins disabled for a reason
But these DM's are active after PM
She need to see him, can she maybe be my BM?
I catch a lotta flights or a bus or an Amtrak
To hammer out hamstrings & beat out your damn back
Move into my casa, at least until tomorrow
But you can even leave an extra toothbrush and Tampax
I'm all about safety but fuck non-complacent
Let's complicate our lives to your Spotify playlist
Obamacare insurance, my women get provided
With an oral contraceptive, OrthoTryCyclin
Got a Latina side-chick with a T-Mobile SideKick
Password protected so she can't see through my pics
Take out & Netflix, get it popping back at my home
"Why is your ex texting you? I thought you didn't talk anymore?!?!"
....man why she ain't dial the iPhone!?!?

(REPEAT HOOK)

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