[Intro]
I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed
Get along with the voices inside of my head
You're tryin' to save me, stop holdin' your breath
And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy

[Verse 1]
I wanted the fame but not the cover of Newsweek
Oh well, guess beggars can't be choosey
Wanted to receive attention for my music
Wanted to be left alone in public, excuse me
Wantin' my cake, and eat it too, wantin' it both ways
Fame made mе a balloon 'cause my ego inflated
Whеn I blew, see, but it was confusing
'Cause all I wanted to do's be the Bruce Lee of loose leaf
Abused ink, used it as a tool when I blew steam
Hit the lottery, ooh-wee!
But with what I gave up to get it was bittersweet
It was like winnin' a used mink
Ironic 'cause I think I'm gettin' so huge I need a shrink
I'm beginnin' to lose sleep: one sheep, two sheep
Goin' coo-coo and kooky as Kool Keith
But I'm actually weirder than you think, 'cause I'm—

[Chorus]
I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed
Get along with the voices inside of my head
You're tryin' to save me, stop holdin' your breath
And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy
Well, that's nothin' (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Well, that's nothin' (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

[Verse 2]
Now, I ain't much of a poet
But I know somebody once told me to seize the moment
And don't squander it 'cause you never know when it all
Could be over tomorrow, so I keep conjurin'
Sometimes I wonder where these thoughts spawn from
Yeah, ponderin'll do you wonders
No wonder you're losin' your mind, the way it wanders
Yodel-odel-ay-hee-hoo! I think it went wanderin' off down yonder
And stumbled onto Jeff VanVonderen
'Cause I need an interventionist
To intervene between me and this monster
Save me from myself and all this conflict
'Cause the very thing that I love's killin' me and I can't conquer it
My OCD's conkin' me in the head, keep knockin'
Nobody's home, I'm sleepwalkin'
I'm just relayin' what the voice in my head's sayin'
Don't shoot the messenger

[Chorus]
I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed
Get along with the voices inside of my head
You're tryin' to save me, stop holdin' your breath
And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy
Well, that's nothin' (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Well, that's nothin' (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)