[Verse 1: Stephen Tries & Max Smith]
If you can't do 10K first week, then I don't wanna hear no chat about diss tracks
You man are both piss flaps
Touch pupils like contacts
Me vs. you, that's a mismatch
I've got bars and big Max
We're out making sweet stacks
You're out asking for feedback
I'm just spitting straight facts
Fuck Tic Tac
Callum, don't mess with me, you're broke
Nearly forty, what a joke
Clear to see you've lost all hope
Three kids, how you gonna cope?
Secret's out, you lost control
Dodgy history like the Pope
And I know that you got sacked from an old people's home
Tom better lay off all the dope
Tom got laid off, on the dole
Wanna collab? That's a nope
Get back down, whack a mole
Wait there, I'm supreme with this, like designer clothes
You got with a girl, but she's a minor, though
Seen one of your vids about three years ago
Now I spin you 'round like it's the Kylie flow
It's like had enough, had enough, had enough once
Never could you take me for a nonce
Look like you ain't washed in months
Ugliest pair of cunts
Take Nan's lunch
Custard Creams get munched
Pick one grape from the bunch
Heard her trump
Oh what, she did another trump? Well
Now Nanny's gonna get a thump
Little pricks get served, little pricks get served
Not in my lane, not in my lane
France and Spain and Greece are hot, but my mouth's on flames
Callum's not your real name
Sanjay, welcome to the game
I'm not the one to blame
Shouldn't chase clout and fame
Shouldn't chase clout and

[Interlude: Stephen Tries & Max Smith]
Yes mate, nailed them
What was all that stuff about nans and trumping?
I don't know, just sort of worked with the flow, you know?
It didn't really diss them though, did it?
Ah shit, you're right
Should we take it old-school?
Ha, yes lad

[Verse 2: Stephen Tries & Max Smith]
I bet you react to this, you basic bitch
Who the fuck are you tryna diss?
I'm the king when it comes to this
Me replying, that's your Make-A-Wish
You're a lanky looking streak of piss
Tom, you're creepy and stink of kids
Cal, you're forty and on a list
Tom, you're lonely, never been kissed
Cal mate, you're not a relevant guy
You're only watched by the FBI
You went viral that one time
Now you're begging for some STI
Called your video "Stephen Tried"
VAR said that you crossed the line
If I said I was impressed, I lied
Got a third of the views of mine
I'm a big fan of grime and rapping
Cal's more CBeebies and fapping
I'm a gangsta, see me trappin'
Cal's wanted for a kidnpping
I've got hard bars and sweet flows
Cal gets hard-ons in speedos
I love to perform on the big shows
Cal loves under 18's discos

[Outro: Stephen Tries & Max Smith]
Do you reckon that'll do?
Ah yes lad, Sanjay's gonna be fuming
Yeah, I bet he is
And he's an actual pedophile
I know