[Verse 1]
On the first part of the journey
We were headed off to Bree
Tom Bombadil kept rescuing
Us and Uncle Bilbo’s ring
We got to the Prancing Pony
Met a ranger with a hilt
But another human, Boromir
Would take on a lot of guilt

[Chorus 1]
I’ve walked into Mordor bearing Isuldur’s Bane
Though the burden was really a strain
Couldn’t take an eagle or even a plane
’Cause the Eye of Sauron would notice a plane
La la la, laaa, la la la la, la la la, laaa la
La la la, laaa, la la la la, la la la, laaa la

[Verse 2]
I was walking from the subway
I wanted to get some food
I didn’t want a pizza
Or anything barbecued
Those things are nice, they would suffice
But I wasn’t in the mood

[Chorus 2]
I hit Happy Garden, got a quart of lo mein
And a fortune that was not arcane
It said “Be good to yourself if you want to be sane”
I added “in bed” and I laughed like a drain
La la la, laaa, la la la la, la la la, laaa la
La la la, laaa, la la la la, la la la, laaa la

[Verse 3]
I was strumming my ukulele
And this song wouldn’t let me be
“The heat was hot,” “there were…rocks and things,”
It’s a poor excuse for poetry
But the pattern gets into everything
And your mind just knocks about
And no matter what you want to sing
This is what comes out:

[Breakdown]
I smell like Teen Spirit on a horse with Cobain—
I called in a plumber and she’ll clean out the drain—
I’ve gone to the silos where I keep all my grain—
We’re off to the wizard, ’cause I don’t have a brain—
I tried out for Hamlet, got the role of the Dane—
I’ve been to the barber, now my horse has no mane—

[Chorus 3]
This two-chord song is stuck in my brain
So I’m passing it on, such a shame
This sequence of lyrics is a terrible pain
And now all of you get to hear me complain
La la la, laaa, la la la la, la la la, laaa la
La la la, laaa, la la la la, la la la, laaa la