[Verse 1]
Jessica Fletcher and Lieutenant Columbo
They couldn’t fathom out what’s wrong with you
Captain Hastings and Hercule Poirot
They couldn’t fathom out what’s wrong with you

[Chorus]
You’re a murder mystery
Of that there’s not doubt
Not even Quincy could figure you out
You’re a murder mystery
And you’re freaking me out

[Verse 2]
Doctor Watson and Sherlock Holmes
They couldn’t fathom out what’s wrong with you
Sergeant Lewis and Juliet Bravo
They couldn’t fathom out what’s wrong with you

[Chorus]
You’re a murder mystery
Of that there’s not doubt
Not even Quincy could figure you out
You’re a murder mystery
And you’re freaking me out
Yeah, you’re freaking me out
Yeah, you’re freaking me out
Yeah, you’re freaking me out

[Bridge]
You’re a devious swine
Of that there’s no doubt
You’ve a criminal mind
But I’m working you out
Just give me more time!

[Chorus]
You’re a murder mystery
Of that there’s not doubt
Not even Quincy or the dog from Due South
You’re a murder mystery
And you’re freaking me out
You’re a murder mystery
And you’re freaking me out (Murder mystery)

Murder mystery (Murder mystery)
Murder mystery (Murder mystery)
Murder mystery (Murder mystery)
Murder mystery (Murder, murder)

[Outro]
Agatha Christie and Daphne du Maurier
They couldn’t fathom out what’s wrong with you
But I hope I do