Woman I love ya
You know that I do
How else can I say
Happy Christmas to you

My presents I know
In the past have been lame
But I'm not a good shopper
I say it with shame

This year please don't make me go shopping at the mall
How bout we don't buy each other presents at all
Hey why don't we both just get drunk
And make out this Christmas?

Yeah, I've tried really hard
To nail your unique style
But I see all the sorrow
Through your polite smile

Those sweaters and panties
I've bought you before
Still have tags connected
Deep down in your drawer

This year please don't make me go shopping at the mall
How bout we don't buy each other presents at all
Yeah why don't we both just get drunk
And make out this Christmas?

I wanna kiss you
And hold you
And touch you
And tickle your fancy
Til morning
Now ain't that better
Than some stupid gift card
Or pants suit or earrings or perfume
Or ugg boot or swatch watch

I'll be romantic, light candles
Get tantric, fill bathtubs with flowers
Talk feelings for hours
Then when it's time for some sexy flirtation
We'll both get what we want
Win win situation
Happy Christmas to you

This year please don't make me go shopping at the mall
How bout we don't buy each other presents at all
Yeah why don't we both just get drunk
And make out this Christmas?

Why don't we both just get drunk
And make out this Christmas?
Why don't we both just get drunk
And make out this Christmas?