[Intro: Mark Douglas as Juicy J]
These lyrics are wack
Dark horse means unknown challenger who comes from behind in a competition, yo
It don't mean having magical powers or have anything to do with Ancient Egypt
Didn’t anybody proofread this?
Whatever, Juicy J, Katy Perry
Let's get paid

[Verse 1: Sarah Gregory as Katy Perry & Mark Douglas as The Sphinx]
I'm really smart, I know about histories
This work of art is a documentary
John Mayer is a jerk who lied to me
He’s not a mayor of anything
I am a witchy dark horse
You don't understand metaphors
Yes, I do! It's what happens when you metamorph
I took a course in wordometry

[Chorus: Sarah Gregory as Katy Perry & Mark Douglas as The Sphinx]
Baby, you could be my locksmith
Cus having safe sex is what I'm all about
But don't you ever try to milk me
I'll chew and spit you out just like a mad cow (Nope!)
I'll make you quake and cower
Where's she going with this?
By using my horsepower (Wrong! F!)
I get condoms from a Trojan horse
(Can someone explain all the horse expressions to her?)

[Verse 2: Mark Douglas as Juicy J]
(I can help with that)
Unh, a rocking horse, that’s for a kid
A talking horse, that’s Mr. Ed
Be careful, stretch after exercise
Or you could get a charley horse that cramps up both your thighs
Don't put the cart ’fore the horse or
You'll do things out of order
When you think it's the same but turns out different
That's a horse of another color
A one-horse town has a small population
If you hold your horses in music that is called a retardation
Miley’s already working with Nelly, Justin got Jay-Z
And if Gaga wasn't with R. Kelly, I'd change horses mid-stream
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink
You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think

[Chorus: Sarah Gregory as Katy Perry & Mark Douglas as The Sphinx]
The rest of you can get the eff out
I don't even care what a meta is for
I think I should end this song now
I don't want to flog it like a dead horse
Wait! You finally got one right (A! Plus!)
My heart of stone is filled with pride (Gold! Star!)
I see the light at the end of ... the horse?
Yeah, that's close enough