[Chorus]
I'm the ghost of Christmas past
Please don't look at my ass
All sad Eminem raps must have a Dido
Remember Dido? Well, I'm the new Dido, Dido
Now here's a pissed off rap

[Verse 1: Mark Douglas as Eminem & Justin Brown as Dr. Dre]
Oh my god, it's kinda odd that you got all these wires and tubes
Coming outcha body, oops, I just saw your balls and pubes
Come on Dre, please wake up, I brought you some Shape-ups
You used to be the man now you can't even pick a grape up
Hey, all I'm sayin' is you better not be fakin' this
I just found a wallet, is it yours? Well I'm takin' it
What if I bent back your wrist?
Or put some red stuff on your lips?
Look, it's Angela Basset
What is this a bag of piss?
You're in a coma so it makes it less embarrassing
For me to own up to the feelings I've been harboring
What I'm trying to say Dre is that you complete me
If I was a cup of sake, you would be sashimi
And if you feel the way I do
I just need a sign from you
Just a tiny movement of a finger or a toe will do
Wait, did you just move your ear?
Well I'm readin' you loud and clear
Lay back, I'll do all the work
I'm awake, you stupid jerk

[Chorus]
I was not expecting that
That was kind of messed up
But it explains some stuff
He acts homophobic
So no-one will notice
It's all been decoded
Me thinks he doth protest too much

[Verse 2: Mark Douglas as Eminem & Justin Brown as Dr. Dre]
It literally was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen
Your white lips were hovering and puckering
You tried to have your way with me while I was barely alive
I was trying to give you CPR till the nurse arrived
I don't know Slim, that excuse seems pretty thin
Let's just get on with your rehabilitation
Just help me work out cus I'm tryin' to get sexy and buff
Do me a favor and inject this needle into my butt
There's nothin' weird about that I can do that for you
That's just the kind of thing a friend would have another friend do
I know that there's nothing wrong with it
Shut up and get on with it
Before we get old, man
My butt's getting cold, Slim
You're cold? That's probably cause you never stretched out
Don't you it's the most important part of a work out?
You know a rub down might even be necessary
Are you any good those?
Oh, most definitely

[Chorus: Mark Douglas as Elton John]
Why don't you two just make out
That's what this is about
Join the parade outside
I've made mango martinis
And some cocktail weenies
Come out of the closet, you meanies
And show some rainbow pride