[Verse 1: Tom MacDonald]
Hey, everything's gay, and that's not offensive, it's something we say
It's not a kick in the gut, I ain't pinching your butt, I don't hate how you love, it's a phrase
It's really gay in our day and age, we take gay jokes so serious
You're Fruit Loop, I'm a Cheerio, and they're both amazing cereals
I don't kiss dudes, I don't hold hands, but if you do, that's fine
Y'all should thank people for being straight, we're the reason that you're alive
Like, come on, guys, no gay jokes, get it? "Cum on guys"
LOL, LGBTQ, I'm kidding, you'll be fine
You can call me gay all day, I understand, and I'm not queer
I could say you're packing fudge, I know you're not a chocolatier
You can hate me 'cause I say things like "retarded" and "that's gay"
And if you think that I mean it, that's retarded and you're gay

[Pre-Chorus: Tom MacDonald]
You're gay, so gay
Go live your life your way
I'm straight, so straight
Don't be mad when I say

[Chorus: Tom MacDonald]
That's super gay, really gay, very gay, stupid gay
I know that it ain't right, I say it anyway
That's super gay, really gay, very gay, stupid gay
I think that stuff is gay, I say it every day

[Verse 2: MadChild]
Sometimes I wish I was gay, man, I'd smashed every bitch in this place
And I am a slut, I could walk into clubs and have 20 new dicks in my face
No Shark Week, no crazy periods, most girls I meet are crazy, period
So I'll admit, that made me curious, couldn't turn gay that made furious
I'm a straight white male, that's gay as fuck, guys say I'm cute? I say: "What's up?"
Man, good for you, man, live your life, man, I love pussy though, I'm alright, man
Hey, women are whole different creatures, still tryna figure them out
I'mma keep working on that, I just can't put your dick in my mouth
"You don't get to choose", I guess it's just how you were born, ayy
I tried to watch ladyboy porn, but I almost threw up in my shorts
But I came first, just aim, squirt, cum-stained shirt, then I felt gross
And I called the girl I was dating that week, she came over, and I held her close

[Pre-Chorus: Tom MacDonald]
You're gay, so gay
Go live your life your way
I'm straight, so straight
Don't be mad when I say

[Chorus: Tom MacDonald]
That's super gay, really gay, very gay, stupid gay
I know that it ain't right, I say it anyway
That's super gay, really gay, very gay, stupid gay
I think that stuff is gay, I say it every day

[Bridge: Tom MacDonald]
I'm not gay, if you are, then that's okay
And I can say what I want, and you can hate it
If you're straight, then do something lame
I'll say it's gay, it's gay, it's gay

[Pre-Chorus: Tom MacDonald]
You're gay, so gay
Go live your life your way
I'm straight, so straight
Don't be mad when I say

[Chorus: Tom MacDonald]
That's super gay, really gay, very gay, stupid gay
I know that it ain't right, I say it anyway
That's super gay, really gay, very gay, stupid gay
I think that stuff is gay, I say it every day