Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for Spotify
Billie Eilish’s new album, Happier Than Ever, finds the singer tackling heavy topics from making love interests sign NDAs to dealing with power imbalances in relationships. Its opening track, “Getting Older,” finds Eilish recounting her personal experiences with abuse and trauma. Although she declines to get too specific, the song reflects on growing up in the spotlight and coming to terms with traumatic experiences as she matures.
Eilish begins the song by reflecting on the costs of fame, before transitioning to sing about a darker reality:
I’m happier than ever, at least, that’s my endeavor
To keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure
‘Cause, to be honest, I just wished the word I promised
Would depend on what I’m givin’ (Not on his permission)
(Wasn’t my decision) To be abused
On the outro, she rips the bandage off:
But next week, I hope I’m somewhere laughin'
For anybody asking, I promise I’ll be fine
I’ve had some trauma, did things I didn’t wanna
Was too afraid to tell ya, but now, I think it’s time
Eilish recently told the Los Angeles Times that she was hesitant to include these lyrics because of their personal nature, but wanted young women to know that they’re not alone in dealing with uncomfortable and traumatic situations.
“I have experienced some stuff that I have never spoken about, and I don’t want to at all,” she said. “I don’t want to f-cking talk about it. I don’t want to tell anyone, let alone the entire internet. It’s embarrassing to go through stuff like that. It’s why a lot of women and men—but especially women—don’t tell anyone when they’re going through it. But at the same time, even though I haven’t really done anything for [the #MeToo movement], it’s really important that young women know that it can happen to anyone. Just being taken advantage of.”
She told Spotify that the song was “tough to write,” but helped reflect her experience coming to terms with things that happened to her long after the fact.
“I think that that happens a lot and it should be completely welcomed, is realizing stuff years later,” she said. “You sometimes don’t realize what’s going on around you until a really long time later or realize what you feel until years later.”
In fact, the “Getting Older” lyrics find her giving herself credit for finally being able to admit how she really felt:
I’m gettin' older, I’ve got more on my shoulders
But I’m gettin' better at admitting when I’m wrong
Read all the lyrics to Billie Eilish’s “Getting Older” on Genius now.
