DJ Khaled coined “major key” as his official 2016 catchphrase, but Pusha T has spent his entire career documenting his own major ki’s. There are whole course loads within his words, enough gospel to author a Dope Game For Dummies paperback. Put the younger Clipse half in a kitchen and he’ll get his hands whiter than a Taylor Swift fan listening to “Trap Queen.” But whipping up that hard isn’t Easy Bake Oven simple. If you want to excel in the drug game—hint: you don’t—here’s a choice selection of guidance, as cut, wrapped, and served from Pusha’s catalog.
I keeps that dirty money, I’m talkin' fast cash
I’m talkin' razor shaving, I’m talkin' duffle bags
I’m talkin' You can count it Papi, it’s all there
I’m talkin' hooking up that Slumdog Millionaire
—Pusha T, “All Eyes On Me”
If there’s anything to learn from Undercover Boss, it’s that every good CEO needs to know how to sweep the floors. Get familiar with every job in the operation—from cutting crack to delivering the money—as well as scheduling team-building events to boost morale. Make your good pharmaceutical company great!
Pusha Ton or you can call me Ziploc
Yellow with the blue made green when the coke drop
Fifteen years old, cooking raw rock
Momma getting mad cause I was fucking up her gold pots
—Pusha T, “Dey Know Yayo”
There’s nothing funny about a 15-year-old ruining his mother’s cookware with straight drop—it’s heartbreaking. That being said, with a little encouragement and a point in the right direction, that teen could be good enough at cooking to buy a brand new 12-piece Todd English set.
Gem Star razor and a dinner plate
Arm & Hammer and a Mason jar, that’s my dinner date
Then crack the window in the kitchen, let it ventilate
Cause I let it sizzle on the stove like a minute steak
—Pusha T, “Nosetalgia”
If you’re going to make crack, make crack right. No shortcuts. Set up your workstation with the proper instruments and ingredients—none of that generic baking soda. This advice goes for legitimate hustles as well. You’ve got one job to do. Don’t screw it up.
Took a brick and I turned it to stone
5 into 10, the Return of the Clones
Then I took my experience and turned it to poems
—Pusha T, “Everything That Glitters”
The only thing holding you back is your imagination, especially if you’re imagining yourself being held back. It may have been Dr. Seuss who said, “The things you can do when you’re done pitching crack / Are enough to fill a Lorax’s almanac.”
See, I was 16, eyes full of hope
Bagging up grams at the Hyatt, doe
The news called it crack, I called it Diet Coke (Ohhh!)
—Pusha T, “Hello New World”
Anyone can make drugs; it’s as simple as watching an instructional YouTube video, buying plane tickets to Colombia, meeting the plug, not getting killed by the plug, somehow getting the packs across the border (along with yourself), setting up in your kitchen and starting a network through which to sell. But what sets your dope apart from everyone else’s?
