Uneasy Rider
The Charlie Daniels Band Lyrics

I was takin' a trip out to LA,
I was embarking on a journey to Los Angeles

Toolin' along in my Chevrolet
Driving leisurely in my Chevrolet car

Tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radio
Smoking marijuana and enjoying the music on the radio

Jes' as I cross the Mississippi line
Just as I crossed the border of Mississippi

I heard that highway start to whine
I noticed strange noises from the highway

And I knew that left rear tire was about to go
And I realized that my left rear tire was going to fail

Well the spare was flat and I got uptight
Unfortunately, the spare tire was also flat, making me nervous

'Cause there wasn't a fillin' station in sight
Since there was no gas station nearby

So I jes' limped down the shoulder on the rim
I had no choice but to drive slowly on the edge of the road with a damaged tire

I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car
I drove until I couldn't go any further and then stopped the car

It was right in front of this little bar
Coincidentally, the car stopped in front of a small bar

A kind of a redneck lookin' joint called the Dew Drop Inn
It was a rustic-looking establishment named the Dew Drop Inn

Well I stuffed my hair up under my hat
I tried to conceal my appearance by hiding my hair under my hat

And told the bartender that I had a flat
I informed the bartender that my tire had gone flat

And would he be kind enough to give me change for a one
Also, I requested the bartender to exchange my one-dollar bill for smaller denominations

There was one thing I was sure proud to see
To my delight, I noticed that there was no one else in the bar

There wasn't a soul in the place 'cept for him an' me
Apart from the bartender and myself, the bar was completely empty

And he just looked disgusted an' pointed toward the telephone
The bartender appeared displeased and gestured towards the telephone

I called up the station down the road a ways
I made a phone call to the nearby gas station

And he said he wasn't very busy t'day
The person on the other end mentioned that they had little work today

And he could have somebody there in jest 'bout ten minutes or so
They assured me that they could send someone to help within approximately ten minutes

He said now you jes' stay right where yer at and I didn't bother
They advised me to remain where I was, and I didn't question it

Tellin' the durn fool
To waste my breath by explaining

I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go
Since I had no other options available

I jes ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
So, I simply ordered a beer and took a seat at the bar

When some guy walked in an' said who owns this car
Suddenly, a man entered and inquired about the owner of the car

With the peace sign the mag wheels and four on the floor
He described the car, mentioning the peace sign, magnetic wheels, and four-speed manual transmission

Well he looked at me and I damn near died
As he glanced at me, I felt extremely anxious

And I decided that I'd jus wait outside
So, I made up my mind to wait outside instead

So I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the door
Without wasting time, I left a dollar on the counter and swiftly made my way to the exit

Jes' when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin
Just as I believed I would escape unharmed

These five big dude come strollin' in
Five large guys casually walked into the bar

With this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth
They were accompanied by an intoxicated woman and a man with green teeth

An' I was almost to the door when the biggest one
Almost reaching the door, the largest guy

Said you tip your hat to this lady son
Demanded that I show respect by tipping my hat to the lady

An' when I did all that hair fell out from underneath
As I complied, a wig slipped off, revealing my bald head

Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight
Engaging in a fight was the last thing on my mind

In Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night
Especially in Jackson, Mississippi, on a Saturday night

'Specially when there was three of them and only one of me
Particularly considering that they outnumbered me three to one

Well they all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick
They all began to laugh, and I felt nauseous

And I knew I'd better think of somethin' pretty quick
Realizing that I needed to come up with a plan swiftly

So I jes' reached out an' kicked ol' green-teeth right in the knee
Without much thought, I extended my leg and kicked the man with green teeth in his knee

He let out a yell that'd curl your hair
He emitted a piercing scream that would send shivers down your spine

But before he could move I grabbed me a chair
Before he could react, I swiftly secured a chair

And said watch him folks 'cause he's a thouroughly dangerous man
Asserting that he was an extremely dangerous individual, I warned the others to be cautious

Well you may not know it but this man's a spy
What you might not realize is that this man is a spy

He's an undercover agent for the FBI
In fact, he is an undercover agent working for the FBI

And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan
Furthermore, he has been assigned the mission of infiltrating the Ku Klux Klan

He was still bent over holdin' on to his knee
While still hunched over, clutching his injured knee

But everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to me
However, everyone else's attention was focused on me, listening intently

And I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went
I continued to exaggerate and elaborate on my story as I spoke

I said would you beleive this man has gone as far
I claimed that this man had even gone to the extent

As tearin' Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars
Of removing Wallace stickers from the bumpers of cars

And he voted for George McGoveren for president
Furthermore, I alleged that he had cast his vote for George McGoveren in the presidential election

Well he's a friend of them long-haired hippie type pinko fags
He associates with those long-haired, hippie-type communist individuals

I betcha he's even got a Commie flag
I wouldn't be surprised if he had a flag representing communism

Tacked up on the wall inside of his garage
Hanging on the wall in his garage

He's a snake in the grass I tell ya guys
I assure you, gentlemen, he is a deceptive and treacherous individual

He may look dumb but that's jus a disguise
Although he may appear foolish, it is merely a façade

He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage
In reality, he is highly skilled and knowledgeable in the techniques of espionage

They all started lookin' real suspicious at him
Everyone began to scrutinize him with suspicion

And he jumped up an' said jes' wait a minute Jim
Suddenly, he stood up and exclaimed, interrupting the situation

You know he's lyin' I've been livin' here all of my life
He countered, insisting that I was lying since he had been a resident of that area his entire life

I'm a faithfull follower of Brother John Burch
He exclaimed that he faithfully supports Brother John Burch

And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church
Furthermore, he claimed to be a member of the Antioch Baptist Church

And I ain't even got a garage you can call home and ask my wife
He emphasized that he doesn't even possess a garage and suggested contacting his wife for confirmation

Then he started sayin' somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed
At that moment, he began commenting on my attire

But I didn't wait around to hear the rest
However, I didn't stick around to listen to the remaining remarks

I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta luck
I had more important matters to attend to, hoping that luck would be on my side

And when I hit the ground I was makin' tracks
As soon as I hit the ground, I started moving swiftly

And they were jes' takin' my car down off the jacks
While I made my escape, they were lowering my car from the jacks

So I threw the man a twenty an' jumped in an' fired that mother up
To express my gratitude, I tossed the man a twenty-dollar bill, then quickly entered the car and started the engine

Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud
Mario Andretti, a famous race car driver, would have been impressed

Of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd
By how swiftly I maneuvered while passing by the crowd

Comin' out the door and headin' toward me in a trot
Emerging from the bar, they started walking briskly towards me

An' I guess I shoulda gone ahead an' run
Perhaps I should have simply started running

But somehow I couldn't resist the fun
Yet, I couldn't resist the thrill of the moment

Of chasin' them jes' once around the parkin' lot
So, I decided to pursue them, just for one lap around the parking lot

Well they're headin' for their car but I hit the gas
As they were heading towards their car, I accelerated rapidly

And spun around and headed them off at the pass
I quickly turned my car and cut them off

Well I was slingin' gravel and puttin' a ton of dust in the air
As I sped, gravel was flying, and a large cloud of dust filled the air

Well I had them all out there steppin' an' a fetchin'
I had them scrambling and moving around in confusion

Like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin'
As if their heads were ablaze and their rear ends were catching fire

But I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got there
However, I realized that it would be wise to leave quickly before the police arrived

When I hit the road I was really wheelin'
Once I hit the road, I was truly driving fast

Had gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin'
With gravel flying and tires screeching

An' I didn't slow down 'til I was almost to Arkansas
I continued at high speed until I was almost in Arkansas

I think I'm gonna re-route my trip
I believe I will change the course of my journey

I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped
I'm curious if anyone would believe I had lost my sanity

If I went to LA via Omaha!
If I traveled to Los Angeles by way of Omaha!