L.A.M.C.
Tool Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

Thank you for calling the Los Angeles Municipal Court.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your question is not answered,
Please, stay on the line
And a representative will be with you shortly.
If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.
If you are calling from a pay phone, please press 3.
If you are calling from a car phone, please press 4.
If you are calling from a secret-spy phone, please press 5.
If you are calling from a princess, phone, please press 6
If you are calling from a car fax, please press 7.
And If you are calling from a rotary phone, please, stay on the line
Make your selection at any time.

Make your selection at any time.

For information in English, please press 1.
For information in Spanish, please press 2.
For information in Japanese, please press 3.
For information in Chinese, please press 4.
For information in Dutch, please press 5.
For information in Latvian, please press 6.
For information in French, please press 7.
For information in Yiddish, please press 8.
For information in Ig-pay Atin-lay, lease-pay ress-pay ine-nay.

If you are responding to a notice from the City Attorney's office, press 3.
To check the amount due on a parking ticket, press 4.
If you believe you are ticketed in error because your disabled person
Placard or your preferential parking permit was clearly displayed, or
Your vehicle is disabled, press 5.
For all other traffic related matters, press 6.

Please make a selection at any time.

For traffic school information, press 1.
For payment inormation, press 2.
For court locations, press 3.
For general ticket and warrant information, press 4.
For court appearance and bail information, press 5.
For traffic court appointment information, press 6.

If you need to make a traffic court appointment, please press 1,
Unless you have not filled out a DD form 3018, in which case,
Please press 2. To receive a blank DD form 3018, please come
Down to the Los Angeles Municipal Court building during normal
Business hours. If you have filled out DD form 3018, but have
Not reported to the City Attorney's office, please press 3.
If you are not receiving physical therapy but have a relative that
Voted 'no' on Proposition 187 * and have collected a notarized waiver
From said relative, and have attached said waiver in triplicate to
Said form, please press 4, unless of course, said relative is not
A naturalized citizen, in which case, please press 5.
If you are receiving physical therapy from a naturalized citizen but
Have not voted 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187 and have not reported
To the City Attorney, but have filled out form DD 3018, please press 6.
Of course, if you have not had your eyes tested by your local
Department of Motor Vehicles in the last three years, in which case
Press 7. If you have had your eyes tested AND voted 'yes' on
Proposition 187, and have your DD form 3018 filled out and
Have already reported to the City Attorney but have never been called
In for jury duty, press 8.

Make your selection at any time.

Make your selection at any time.
The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
There is a possibility that you have made an error in
Selecting your message. Please try again.
The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
There is a possibility that you have made an error in
Selecting your message. Please try again.
I'm sorry, but we are unable to interpret your request.
Please call back during normal business hours.

Thank you for calling the Los Angeles Municipal Court.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your question is not answered,
Please, stay on the line
And a representative will be with you shortly.
If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.
* Proposition 187 was a Californian measure put to the voters, aimed at
Preventing illegal immigrants from obtaining welfare and other social




Benefits. Californians voted yes to it in 1994, although its
Enforceability and legality in the US appear to be under question.

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Tool's song L.A.M.C. are taken directly from an automated phone system of the Los Angeles Municipal Court. The song is an ironic commentary on the bureaucracy and the complexity of the court system. The opening lines of the song are the instructions for using the automated phone system and the song itself is a representation of the absurdity and frustration that can be experienced while navigating the legal system.


The lyrics are delivered in a robotic fashion by the lead singer, Maynard James Keenan, further emphasizing the impersonal nature of interacting with the legal system. The song is a critique of the impersonal nature of the system, the difficulties encountered in navigating it, and the frustration of dealing with it. The song also touches on issues of immigration and discrimination through the reference to Proposition 187.


The song L.A.M.C. is a unique track on the album "Undertow" as it is the only one that does not feature any musical instruments. Instead, it features a recording of an automated phone system. Additionally, the track is only 1 minute and 20 seconds long, making it the shortest song on the album.


Line by Line Meaning

Thank you for calling the Los Angeles Municipal Court.
Welcoming message given by the court.


This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
Letting the caller know that the system they have reached is automated.


If after using this system, your question is not answered,
In case the caller's question remains unresolved.


Please, stay on the line
The caller is encouraged to hold on the line until connected to a representative.


And a representative will be with you shortly.
The caller is informed that a representative will attend to them shortly.


If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
Instructions given to the caller to press 1 if their phone has a touch-tone feature.


If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.
Instructions given to the caller to press 2 if they are calling from a cellular phone.


If you are calling from a pay phone, please press 3.
Instructions given to the caller to press 3 if they are calling from a pay phone.


If you are calling from a car phone, please press 4.
Instructions given to the caller to press 4 if they are calling from a car phone.


If you are calling from a secret-spy phone, please press 5.
Instructions given to the caller to press 5, humorously, if they are calling from a secret-spy phone.


If you are calling from a princess, phone, please press 6
Instructions given to the caller to press 6 if they are calling from a princess phone.


If you are calling from a car fax, please press 7.
Instructions given to the caller to press 7 if they are calling from a car fax.


And If you are calling from a rotary phone, please, stay on the line
Instructions for the caller to stay on the line if they are calling from a rotary phone.


Make your selection at any time.
The caller is encouraged to make their selection anytime after the given instruction.


For information in English, please press 1.
Instructions given to the caller to press 1 if they require information in English.


For information in Spanish, please press 2.
Instructions given to the caller to press 2 if they require information in Spanish.


For information in Japanese, please press 3.
Instructions given to the caller to press 3 if they require information in Japanese.


For information in Chinese, please press 4.
Instructions given to the caller to press 4 if they require information in Chinese.


For information in Dutch, please press 5.
Instructions given to the caller to press 5 if they require information in Dutch.


For information in Latvian, please press 6.
Instructions given to the caller to press 6 if they require information in Latvian.


For information in French, please press 7.
Instructions given to the caller to press 7 if they require information in French.


For information in Yiddish, please press 8.
Instructions given to the caller to press 8 if they require information in Yiddish.


For information in Ig-pay Atin-lay, lease-pay ress-pay ine-nay.
Instructions given to the caller, in pig Latin, to press 9 to request information.


If you are responding to a notice from the City Attorney's office, press 3.
Instructions given to callers who are responding to a notice from the City Attorney's office to press 3.


To check the amount due on a parking ticket, press 4.
Instructions given to the caller to press 4 if they want to check how much they owe for a parking ticket.


If you believe you are ticketed in error because your disabled person
Instructions given to the caller with a disability permit to press 5 if they have received a ticket in error because their permit was clearly displayed.


Placard or your preferential parking permit was clearly displayed, or
Clarifying that the appeal process is for those who believe to have been ticketed in error because they have a disability permit or a preferential parking permit clearly displayed.


Your vehicle is disabled, press 5.
Instructions given to a caller who has a disabled vehicle and got ticketed to press 5.


For all other traffic related matters, press 6.
Instructions given to the caller to press 6 for other traffic-related matters.


Please make a selection at any time.
Reiteration of the caller being able to make a selection anytime.


For traffic school information, press 1.
Instructions given to the caller to press 1 if they want driving school information.


For payment information, press 2.
Instructions given to the caller to press 2 to get payment information.


For court locations, press 3.
Instructions given to the caller to press 3 to get the court location details.


For general ticket and warrant information, press 4.
Instructions given to the caller to press 4 to get general ticket and warrant information.


For court appearance and bail information, press 5.
Instructions given to the caller to press 5 if they require court appearance and bail information.


For traffic court appointment information, press 6.
Instructions given to the caller to press 6 if they want information about traffic court appointments.


If you need to make a traffic court appointment, please press 1,
Instructions given to the caller to press 1 if they want to schedule a traffic court appointment.


Unless you have not filled out a DD form 3018, in which case,
Clarification that the caller cannot schedule a traffic court appointment unless they have filled out a DD form 3018.


Please press 2. To receive a blank DD form 3018, please come
Instructions given to the caller to press 2 if they need a DD form 3018, which can be obtained in person.


Down to the Los Angeles Municipal Court building during normal
Clarifying that the caller has to obtain the DD form 3018 in person at the Los Angeles Municipal Court building during normal business hours.


Business hours. If you have filled out DD form 3018, but have
Clarification that the caller requires the DD form 3018 to schedule an appointment.


Not reported to the City Attorney's office, please press 3.
Instructions given to the caller who has filled out a DD form 3018, but hasn't reported to the City Attorney's office, to press 3.


If you are not receiving physical therapy but have a relative that
Instructions given to the caller who isn't receiving physical therapy but has a relative who voted against Proposition 187.


Voted 'no' on Proposition 187 * and have collected a notarized waiver
Clarifying that the relative who voted 'no' on Proposition 187 has given a notarized waiver.


From said relative, and have attached said waiver in triplicate to
Instructions given to the caller who has collected a notarized waiver to attach it in triplicate.


Said form, please press 4, unless of course, said relative is not
Instructions given to the caller to press 4 if they have attached the notarized waiver, except if the relative is not a naturalized citizen, in which they have to press 5.


A naturalized citizen, in which case, please press 5.
Instructions given to the caller to press 5 if the relative who gave the notarized waiver is not a naturalized citizen.


If you are receiving physical therapy from a naturalized citizen but
Instructions given to the caller who is receiving physical therapy from a naturalized citizen but hasn't voted either 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187.


Have not voted 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187 and have not reported
Clarification that the caller hasn't reported to the City Attorney's office and hasn't voted either 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187.


To the City Attorney, but have filled out form DD 3018, please press 6.
Instructions given to the caller to press 6 if they have filled out a DD form 3018 but haven't reported to the City Attorney's office and haven't voted either 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187.


Of course, if you have not had your eyes tested by your local
Instructions given to the caller, pointing out the importance of having their eyes tested.


Department of Motor Vehicles in the last three years, in which case
Clarification that this is applicable if the caller hasn't had their eyes tested by their local Department of Motor Vehicles in the last three years.


Press 7. If you have had your eyes tested AND voted 'yes' on
Instructions given to the caller to press 7 if they have had their eyes tested and voted 'yes' on Proposition 187.


Proposition 187, and have your DD form 3018 filled out and
Clarifying that the caller has filled out the DD form 3018.


Have already reported to the City Attorney but have never been called
Clarification that the caller has already reported to the City Attorney, but they haven't been called for jury duty.


In for jury duty, press 8.
Instructions given to the caller who has already reported to the City Attorney but hasn't been called in for jury duty to press 8.


The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
The caller is instructed to make their selection via touch-tone entry.


There is a possibility that you have made an error in
The caller is alerted that there is a chance they might have selected the wrong option.


Selecting your message. Please try again.
Instructions given to the caller to try selecting the correct option again.


I'm sorry, but we are unable to interpret your request.
Message to the caller that their request wasn't understood and they need to call during normal business hours.


Please call back during normal business hours.
Instructions given to the caller to call back during the court's normal business hours.




Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: ADAM JONES, DANIEL CAREY, JUSTIN GUNNER CHANCELLOR, MAYNARD JAMES KEENAN

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

@thedevilofmetal5335

Why do people call my music taste weird? This is just a normal song I don’t know what’s up

@the2ndcoming135

Probably, because you don’t conform to group mentalities and essentially mind your own business. Like, when spoiled privileged Americans complain about human rights issues in foreign countries while forgetting that those are actual laws in those foreign countries. Meaning, hey you guys? Why aren’t you being super cool like us awesome people over here?😂

@thedevilofmetal5335

@@the2ndcoming135 you ok dawg?

@the2ndcoming135

@@thedevilofmetal5335 I’m German. Of course I am🙋🏽‍♂️

@smoothk791

I love the chorus of this song!

@kolbykauffman4180

This is my first time in 20 years I sat through the whole thing, lol.

@pmuss49

For some reason I find this terrifying

@fishdude666ify

I had just said to my wife "I've never actually listened to this all the way through" as I was looking to see how much longer it had when I saw your comment.

@jravell

I’ve listened to this thing all the way through several times. I like this type of irreverence, noise and chaos.

@charliewinz

@@jravell Then you'll probably like: https://youtu.be/2A0O98Kwab8

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