Tool is an American alternative metal/progressive metal band from Los Angel… Read Full Bio ↴Tool is an American alternative metal/progressive metal band from Los Angeles. Formed in 1990, the group's line-up includes vocalist Maynard James Keenan, guitarist Adam Jones and drummer Danny Carey. Justin Chancellor has been the band's bassist since 1995, replacing their original bassist Paul D'Amour. Tool has won four Grammy Awards, performed worldwide tours, and produced albums topping the charts in several countries.

To date, the band has released five studio albums, one EP and one box set. They emerged with a heavy metal sound on their first studio album, Undertow (1993), and became a dominant act in the alternative metal movement with the release of their follow-up album Ænima in 1996. Their efforts to unify musical experimentation, visual arts, and a message of personal evolution continued with Lateralus (2001) and 10,000 Days (2006), gaining critical acclaim and international commercial success. Their fifth studio album, Fear Inoculum, was released on August 30, 2019, to widespread critical acclaim. Prior to its release, the band had sold more than 13 million albums in the US alone.

Due to Tool's incorporation of visual arts and very long and complex releases, the band is generally described as a style-transcending act and part of progressive rock, psychedelic rock, and art rock. The relationship between the band and today's music industry is ambivalent, at times marked by censorship, and the band's insistence on privacy.

There is a raging debate about whether Tool can be considered "post-metal" or not. However, they surely had a hand in its creation as much as Neurosis. The influential act Isis was heavily influenced by Tool's music, so much that they lifted entire basslines and guitar riffing from Tool and even their iconic snare sound was inspired by Tool's style. Much has been made of both Isis and Tool's sound and influence across the years but one thing is sure, modern post-metal has their fingerprints everywhere and it would not have sounded this way without them. Additionally, Tool actually was aware of and liked Isis' music as they chose Isis as touring partners, a move that brought even more attention to Isis' music.

Full Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tool_(band)

Studio albums
Undertow (1993)
Ænima (1996)
Lateralus (2001)
10,000 Days (2006)
Fear Inoculum (2019)

L.A.M.C.
Tool Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

Thank you for calling the Los Angeles Municipal Court.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your question is not answered,
Please, stay on the line
And a representative will be with you shortly.
If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.
If you are calling from a pay phone, please press 3.

If you are calling from a car phone, please press 4.
If you are calling from a secret-spy phone, please press 5.
If you are calling from a princess, phone, please press 6
If you are calling from a car fax, please press 7.
And If you are calling from a rotary phone, please, stay on the line
Make your selection at any time.

Make your selection at any time.

For information in English, please press 1.
For information in Spanish, please press 2.
For information in Japanese, please press 3.
For information in Chinese, please press 4.
For information in Dutch, please press 5.
For information in Latvian, please press 6.
For information in French, please press 7.
For information in Yiddish, please press 8.
For information in Ig-pay Atin-lay, lease-pay ress-pay ine-nay.

If you are responding to a notice from the City Attorney's office, press 3.
To check the amount due on a parking ticket, press 4.
If you believe you are ticketed in error because your disabled person
Placard or your preferential parking permit was clearly displayed, or
Your vehicle is disabled, press 5.
For all other traffic related matters, press 6.

Please make a selection at any time.

For traffic school information, press 1.
For payment inormation, press 2.
For court locations, press 3.
For general ticket and warrant information, press 4.
For court appearance and bail information, press 5.
For traffic court appointment information, press 6.

If you need to make a traffic court appointment, please press 1,
Unless you have not filled out a DD form 3018, in which case,
Please press 2. To receive a blank DD form 3018, please come
Down to the Los Angeles Municipal Court building during normal
Business hours. If you have filled out DD form 3018, but have
Not reported to the City Attorney's office, please press 3.
If you are not receiving physical therapy but have a relative that
Voted 'no' on Proposition 187 * and have collected a notarized waiver
From said relative, and have attached said waiver in triplicate to
Said form, please press 4, unless of course, said relative is not
A naturalized citizen, in which case, please press 5.
If you are receiving physical therapy from a naturalized citizen but
Have not voted 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187 and have not reported
To the City Attorney, but have filled out form DD 3018, please press 6.
Of course, if you have not had your eyes tested by your local
Department of Motor Vehicles in the last three years, in which case
Press 7. If you have had your eyes tested AND voted 'yes' on
Proposition 187, and have your DD form 3018 filled out and
Have already reported to the City Attorney but have never been called
In for jury duty, press 8.

Make your selection at any time.

Make your selection at any time.
The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
There is a possibility that you have made an error in
Selecting your message. Please try again.
The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
There is a possibility that you have made an error in
Selecting your message. Please try again.
I'm sorry, but we are unable to interpret your request.
Please call back during normal business hours.

Thank you for calling the Los Angeles Municipal Court.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your question is not answered,
Please, stay on the line
And a representative will be with you shortly.
If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.
* Proposition 187 was a Californian measure put to the voters, aimed at
Preventing illegal immigrants from obtaining welfare and other social

Benefits. Californians voted yes to it in 1994, although its
Enforceability and legality in the US appear to be under question.

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Tool's song L.A.M.C. are taken directly from an automated phone system of the Los Angeles Municipal Court. The song is an ironic commentary on the bureaucracy and the complexity of the court system. The opening lines of the song are the instructions for using the automated phone system and the song itself is a representation of the absurdity and frustration that can be experienced while navigating the legal system.

The lyrics are delivered in a robotic fashion by the lead singer, Maynard James Keenan, further emphasizing the impersonal nature of interacting with the legal system. The song is a critique of the impersonal nature of the system, the difficulties encountered in navigating it, and the frustration of dealing with it. The song also touches on issues of immigration and discrimination through the reference to Proposition 187.

The song L.A.M.C. is a unique track on the album "Undertow" as it is the only one that does not feature any musical instruments. Instead, it features a recording of an automated phone system. Additionally, the track is only 1 minute and 20 seconds long, making it the shortest song on the album.

Line by Line Meaning

Thank you for calling the Los Angeles Municipal Court.
Welcoming message given by the court.

This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
Letting the caller know that the system they have reached is automated.

If after using this system, your question is not answered,
In case the caller's question remains unresolved.

Please, stay on the line
The caller is encouraged to hold on the line until connected to a representative.

And a representative will be with you shortly.
The caller is informed that a representative will attend to them shortly.

If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
Instructions given to the caller to press 1 if their phone has a touch-tone feature.

If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.
Instructions given to the caller to press 2 if they are calling from a cellular phone.

If you are calling from a pay phone, please press 3.
Instructions given to the caller to press 3 if they are calling from a pay phone.

If you are calling from a car phone, please press 4.
Instructions given to the caller to press 4 if they are calling from a car phone.

If you are calling from a secret-spy phone, please press 5.
Instructions given to the caller to press 5, humorously, if they are calling from a secret-spy phone.

If you are calling from a princess, phone, please press 6
Instructions given to the caller to press 6 if they are calling from a princess phone.

If you are calling from a car fax, please press 7.
Instructions given to the caller to press 7 if they are calling from a car fax.

And If you are calling from a rotary phone, please, stay on the line
Instructions for the caller to stay on the line if they are calling from a rotary phone.

Make your selection at any time.
The caller is encouraged to make their selection anytime after the given instruction.

For information in English, please press 1.
Instructions given to the caller to press 1 if they require information in English.

For information in Spanish, please press 2.
Instructions given to the caller to press 2 if they require information in Spanish.

For information in Japanese, please press 3.
Instructions given to the caller to press 3 if they require information in Japanese.

For information in Chinese, please press 4.
Instructions given to the caller to press 4 if they require information in Chinese.

For information in Dutch, please press 5.
Instructions given to the caller to press 5 if they require information in Dutch.

For information in Latvian, please press 6.
Instructions given to the caller to press 6 if they require information in Latvian.

For information in French, please press 7.
Instructions given to the caller to press 7 if they require information in French.

For information in Yiddish, please press 8.
Instructions given to the caller to press 8 if they require information in Yiddish.

For information in Ig-pay Atin-lay, lease-pay ress-pay ine-nay.
Instructions given to the caller, in pig Latin, to press 9 to request information.

If you are responding to a notice from the City Attorney's office, press 3.
Instructions given to callers who are responding to a notice from the City Attorney's office to press 3.

To check the amount due on a parking ticket, press 4.
Instructions given to the caller to press 4 if they want to check how much they owe for a parking ticket.

If you believe you are ticketed in error because your disabled person
Instructions given to the caller with a disability permit to press 5 if they have received a ticket in error because their permit was clearly displayed.

Placard or your preferential parking permit was clearly displayed, or
Clarifying that the appeal process is for those who believe to have been ticketed in error because they have a disability permit or a preferential parking permit clearly displayed.

Your vehicle is disabled, press 5.
Instructions given to a caller who has a disabled vehicle and got ticketed to press 5.

For all other traffic related matters, press 6.
Instructions given to the caller to press 6 for other traffic-related matters.

Please make a selection at any time.
Reiteration of the caller being able to make a selection anytime.

For traffic school information, press 1.
Instructions given to the caller to press 1 if they want driving school information.

For payment information, press 2.
Instructions given to the caller to press 2 to get payment information.

For court locations, press 3.
Instructions given to the caller to press 3 to get the court location details.

For general ticket and warrant information, press 4.
Instructions given to the caller to press 4 to get general ticket and warrant information.

For court appearance and bail information, press 5.
Instructions given to the caller to press 5 if they require court appearance and bail information.

For traffic court appointment information, press 6.
Instructions given to the caller to press 6 if they want information about traffic court appointments.

If you need to make a traffic court appointment, please press 1,
Instructions given to the caller to press 1 if they want to schedule a traffic court appointment.

Unless you have not filled out a DD form 3018, in which case,
Clarification that the caller cannot schedule a traffic court appointment unless they have filled out a DD form 3018.

Please press 2. To receive a blank DD form 3018, please come
Instructions given to the caller to press 2 if they need a DD form 3018, which can be obtained in person.

Down to the Los Angeles Municipal Court building during normal
Clarifying that the caller has to obtain the DD form 3018 in person at the Los Angeles Municipal Court building during normal business hours.

Business hours. If you have filled out DD form 3018, but have
Clarification that the caller requires the DD form 3018 to schedule an appointment.

Not reported to the City Attorney's office, please press 3.
Instructions given to the caller who has filled out a DD form 3018, but hasn't reported to the City Attorney's office, to press 3.

If you are not receiving physical therapy but have a relative that
Instructions given to the caller who isn't receiving physical therapy but has a relative who voted against Proposition 187.

Voted 'no' on Proposition 187 * and have collected a notarized waiver
Clarifying that the relative who voted 'no' on Proposition 187 has given a notarized waiver.

From said relative, and have attached said waiver in triplicate to
Instructions given to the caller who has collected a notarized waiver to attach it in triplicate.

Said form, please press 4, unless of course, said relative is not
Instructions given to the caller to press 4 if they have attached the notarized waiver, except if the relative is not a naturalized citizen, in which they have to press 5.

A naturalized citizen, in which case, please press 5.
Instructions given to the caller to press 5 if the relative who gave the notarized waiver is not a naturalized citizen.

If you are receiving physical therapy from a naturalized citizen but
Instructions given to the caller who is receiving physical therapy from a naturalized citizen but hasn't voted either 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187.

Have not voted 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187 and have not reported
Clarification that the caller hasn't reported to the City Attorney's office and hasn't voted either 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187.

To the City Attorney, but have filled out form DD 3018, please press 6.
Instructions given to the caller to press 6 if they have filled out a DD form 3018 but haven't reported to the City Attorney's office and haven't voted either 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187.

Of course, if you have not had your eyes tested by your local
Instructions given to the caller, pointing out the importance of having their eyes tested.

Department of Motor Vehicles in the last three years, in which case
Clarification that this is applicable if the caller hasn't had their eyes tested by their local Department of Motor Vehicles in the last three years.

Press 7. If you have had your eyes tested AND voted 'yes' on
Instructions given to the caller to press 7 if they have had their eyes tested and voted 'yes' on Proposition 187.

Proposition 187, and have your DD form 3018 filled out and
Clarifying that the caller has filled out the DD form 3018.

Have already reported to the City Attorney but have never been called
Clarification that the caller has already reported to the City Attorney, but they haven't been called for jury duty.

In for jury duty, press 8.
Instructions given to the caller who has already reported to the City Attorney but hasn't been called in for jury duty to press 8.

The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
The caller is instructed to make their selection via touch-tone entry.

There is a possibility that you have made an error in
The caller is alerted that there is a chance they might have selected the wrong option.

Selecting your message. Please try again.
Instructions given to the caller to try selecting the correct option again.

I'm sorry, but we are unable to interpret your request.
Message to the caller that their request wasn't understood and they need to call during normal business hours.

Please call back during normal business hours.
Instructions given to the caller to call back during the court's normal business hours.

Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: ADAM JONES, DANIEL CAREY, JUSTIN GUNNER CHANCELLOR, MAYNARD JAMES KEENAN

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

To comment on or correct specific content, highlight it

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Comments from YouTube:

@thedevilofmetal5335

4y↑165

Why do people call my music taste weird? This is just a normal song I don’t know what’s up

@the2ndcoming135

3y↑6

Probably, because you don’t conform to group mentalities and essentially mind your own business. Like, when spoiled privileged Americans complain about human rights issues in foreign countries while forgetting that those are actual laws in those foreign countries. Meaning, hey you guys? Why aren’t you being super cool like us awesome people over here?😂

@thedevilofmetal5335

3y↑2

@@the2ndcoming135 you ok dawg?

@the2ndcoming135

3y↑5

@@thedevilofmetal5335 I’m German. Of course I am🙋🏽‍♂️

@smoothk791

2y↑1

I love the chorus of this song!

@kolbykauffman4180

4y↑114

This is my first time in 20 years I sat through the whole thing, lol.

@pmuss49

4y↑13

For some reason I find this terrifying

@fishdude666ify

3y↑8

I had just said to my wife "I've never actually listened to this all the way through" as I was looking to see how much longer it had when I saw your comment.

@jravell

3y↑8

I’ve listened to this thing all the way through several times. I like this type of irreverence, noise and chaos.

@charliewinz

@@jravell Then you'll probably like: https://youtu.be/2A0O98Kwab8

@Tom-oj7si

2y↑4

I listen to it quite a lot actually

I really like the harsh background and the funny parts of her speech

2 More Replies...

@brycestempka5505

2y↑37

The feeling this song portrays i love its hilarious and aggravating at the same time

@winstonsmithamm

13y↑82

I'm calling from a princess phone.

@scottbowman8027

4y↑25

Please press 6

@kylekenney1907

2y↑18

The fuckin rage induced phone dialing is the best part

@siddharthas.d3129

3y↑37

Audio Engineer "How many phone options do you want?"
TOOL "YES".

@kolbykauffman4180

4y↑60

You know how the beat continues growing. 1.1-2.1-2-3.
I just realized I'm pacing back and forth to the change; footsteps keeping to the bar. Listening on my phone. Like I'm the one holding on the line. Huh. I'm living the song.

@sonic3224Gamer

4y↑10

It does this up to 30 beats. Then that's when they redial and it starts all over again.

@j.prt.979

4y↑101

What an absolute banger

@the2ndcoming135

2y↑1

👇🏽🍿

@TheHitchenator

3y↑51

Trying to get an official document renewed and this song is too accurate.

@hwplugburz

40w

I also recognise pyrocracy when i hear it.. 😂👍 (therefore I always loved/hated this thing)

@jimmio3727

2y↑17

Automated phone systems in general boils the blood like no other; song is so accurate.

@connorsmith377

4y↑34

“For Information in Ig-pay Atin-Lay, lease-pay, ress-pay, ine-nay” 🤣🤣

@johnstrong9744

3y↑1

Lol I never noticed that thanks

@maxsiehier

46w

What does that mean?

@dank_frank7798

41w

@@maxsiehierpig Latin joke

@DerWaidmann_

1y↑9

This humor is so ahead of its time

@pizzaboynizza1

3y↑35

I’ve actually always loved the weirdness of this track.

@Dead_Again1313

1y↑15

Watched this on my secret spy phone.

@ukoid

22w↑3

Watched this on my princess phone

@adgalanda

4y↑24

I'm calling from the year 2020. You don't want to be here.

@notsure1969

3y↑5

If you are calling from the year 2020, please press 2-0-2-0.

@danhirtle9279

3y↑22

hey looks like Tool inspired most health insurance companies to adopt this format for their provider portals...

@derekhartenstine8545

5y↑35

My feelings exactly when I call anywhere nowadays.

@gamiensrule

1y↑10

Can I be the one to just say... The mastering prowess on display in this track is chefs kiss.

@arcane3943

3y↑13

I feel like someone is gonna burst through the door with machine gun

@adamnystrom9101

4y↑32

This is so weirdly good

@kevingrems8263

48w↑6

Fibonacci strong in this one

@mnrs1327

4y↑20

I just listened to this whole thing.

@notsure1969

3y↑3

You are legend.

@jravell

3y↑7

I’ve listened to this track all the way through several times over the years. I guess I’m weird.

@Plockman29

3y↑1

@@jravell yeah you are... but so am I :P

@IlBalivoDiUzhitz

Me too and i don't know why

@MyLobotomy14

46w↑3

This is what a brain anurism, a brain tumor, a and stroke sounds like at the same time

@shane1648

3y↑16

This feels so real.

@tobiaslindsay369

2y↑8

Reminds me of Filth era Swans.

Also it’s almost what I would imagine purgatory would be, doing the same repetitive thing for all eternity until the soul reaches a state of purity.

@Faks.09

The music is very coward'ish imo

@GP-yc2it

4y↑33

Fucking art, right?

Love the grind 👍

@ms.kwantoohigh4040

4y↑8

Down the rabbit hole I go

@natashababay

5y↑44

No one exists

@GP-yc2it

4y↑17

This guy gets it.

@ms.kwantoohigh4040

4y↑11

Yeah that acid was hittin huh

@shem269

3y↑2

Somebody does though

@Aedalas

2y↑1

@@shem269 You don't know that.

@shem269

@@Aedalas Says you

1 More Replies...

@raymellon9572

3y↑7

Reminded of this while trying to buy a SIM card to upgrade my phone.

@igitha..._

2y↑5

Goes really well in conjunction with the BUPA health insurance hold music...
Time on hold 2hrs and counting............................................................

@Bram25

3y↑8

Bureaucracy in a nutshell. I wrote letters to taxing authorities being as frustrating as this getting them sent back because there was no West entrance 6 as it only went to 4 or it was West Entrance 6-1...........

Oh. Why is this not on Spotify?!?

@rayniac211

3y↑9

Pure art.

@DannyBZ9

3y↑8

You forgot Maynards D on this playlist of Salival

@notsure1969

3y↑6

I just so happen to be calling from a princess phone.

@maxsiehier

46w

Soothing to my soul.

@esmokah

1y↑1

There's this real subtle change that happens when she is asking about having your eyes checked I can only hear on psychedelics and I die very time.

@Pabliski577

21w

Tears... In my eyes...

@perineum6

3y↑5

God, I hope they were calling from a princess phone.

@dianacarinao6667

10w

i was calling once and while i was waiting i decided to play this song...felt his suffering, two times

@macklemorganfreeman8488

2y↑4

Wish they would play this one live more instead of The Grudge or something

@ericretheford6516

2y↑4

Me trying to talk to a real person at the pharmacy

@ion4age

The Best Real S hit ive ever heard

@beyerdr

"Make your selection at any time"

@wekskppahgolepunduall9413

2y↑2

My voice-mail message has been a random part of this song, changing every 2 months, for 15 years. I have received no voicemails in 15 years.

@sustenance8726

1y↑3

What instruments were used?

@SahriCahri

39w

Listening to this while I sit through US Bank's automated fraud department answering service.

@D1sc0rd-

6y↑10

I only listen with my right earbud

@tofancan4523

@ left earbud broken?

@D1sc0rd-

4y↑6

@ Uhh.. I don't know. I think I was just on something when I made that comment lol

@Xakslied

Subjective Object Lmao

@someguyto4675

46w↑1

I should somehow use this for these scam telephone calls I always get.

@nolansalamander7953

4y↑16

What Silent Hill game is this from

@notsure1969

3y↑6

Silent Hill 69: The Silence of the Hills

@LandonRickettsRDR

16w↑1

He shoulda pressed 3. Yep, definitely shoulda pressed 3.

@kevinmagee8955

3y↑3

What's the phone number for the los angeles municipal court? is it a real working phone number?

@90thMeridian

2y↑2

My buddy used to play this album on repeat when we were younger when I would stay over at his place I figured out and I'm sure other people have that the noise in the background adds one to it every time and I think it gets up to 33

@ThReverend6661

it got up to 30

@the2ndcoming135

R.I.P. Senora Alvarado🕊

@LittleRedRideMeGood69

? (Repeatedly), 1, ? (Repeatedly), 6 (mashed), 6 (3 times), 8, 8 (after being ignored) (random numbers mashed frantically), (Hung up on), dial tone...

1...

@Aaron_Gentry

Please make a selection at any time

@sstaners1234

1y↑1

Please make your selection at anytime.

@Ghost-qp2mk

31w

If you ever had to call any government agency this is exactly what you get..... so true but so fucked

@ion4age

1y↑2

Push #4

@jonjona.macintire3812

I've got' to pay Indianapolis $300 to reinstate my Liscence sense I drove an apartment w/ out insurance wow creativé

@morgandunn6384

If you like this you might like “Routine (The Dancing Bear)” by Mira Calix. She kind of stole from this track. I like both.
EDIT: It may be the other way around. The Mira Calix track came out not long before this track.

@sonan333

12w

What are the odds that Tool would freely let people use this for hold/waiting music?

@chugmonkey666

3y↑1

I Voted yes for prop I87

@beyerdr

I bet this is what Hell is like lol

@Pabliski577

20w

2:30 It stops at 6 then it's dialed three times 👁️ bet ya didn't catch that

@sydknee604

2y↑4

Better than 10000 Days

@ChakLok

Tryna start an argument well fuck you buddy

@makaryjasinski2808

2y↑1

Can you add Maynard's D?

@roderickconstantino5354

Tell me about it

@jaemyrick5277

2y↑4

This track is weird. Haha. But I’m understanding why there’s a woman/operator offering phone options. The pounding sound effects is the caller pounding his head on a wall or table, listening to these tedious phone options, and going a little crazy in the mind, hoping to talk to a real human and not a machine. Yes. I can relate to that 100%. I cannot stand phone options. You choose the number, then they ask you questions. What issue do you have? Then hopefully a human person will pick up the phone for assistance…then put you on hold. 😡It’s not much fun.👎👎👎
Now there is a choice, with the digital age. Going online if you have questions. Issues… is better also not great. Has its PROS & CONS.
I despise signing in. Creating a password. Ewww. Don’t like that. 😩😠😩😩

@DK-he2vb

27w

Or you can skip all this madness and hit 0000000000 until it says a representative will be with you shortly

@gruntnation7789

3y↑1

@michaelpicciolo7629

2y↑1

I was like 420

@inbredbanana8156

3y↑5

Probably the only Tool song I genuinely dislike.

@el0j

3y↑11

you're just not feeling it. you gotta feel it

@sleepyavii9307

1y↑4

It's not really a song it's just stupid humor. Tool does that quite a bit. And by god is it hilarious

@inbredbanana8156

1y↑1

@@sleepyavii9307 shit u got a point there

@sleepyavii9307

1y↑2

@@inbredbanana8156 You really have to look at the humorous side of Tool. And it's everywhere, in every song. A lot of people like to think every single song should evoke deep personal meaning when really, Maynard's confirmed a lot of them are just about anal sex lmao.

Direct quote from Maynard himself, " I just hope that our fans are people who are inspired by music, and just use our music as a background or inspiration for whatever it is they do."
Let whatever resonates influence you artistically, creatively, and spiritually. But also find the time to sit back and appreciate the silliness of it all lmao. Because that's really all life is.