"how many things" is a poignant track by Sabrina Carpenter from her album "emails i can’t send fwd:" released in 2022. The song showcases Carpenter's vulnerability as she navigates the complexities of love and emotional neglect.
The song delves into feelings of worthlessness and longing in a relationship, highlighting the narrator's insecurities and the emotional distance felt from a significant other.
The song opens with a vivid image of a fork, symbolizing the omnipresence of memories associated with the relationship. The line "It turns out forks are fucking everywhere" suggests that the narrator cannot escape thoughts of her partner, indicating a deep emotional entanglement. The mention of finding her partner anywhere hints at a longing that transcends physical distance, emphasizing the emotional connection that remains despite the growing distance.
As the song progresses, Carpenter reminisces about a moment shared on a rooftop, where deep conversations flowed until dawn. This memory serves as a stark contrast to the current state of their relationship, where the narrator feels neglected. The line "I wish we stayed just like we were up there" encapsulates a desire to return to a time when their connection felt strong and unshakeable.
The chorus introduces a series of rhetorical questions that reveal the narrator's insecurities. "I wonder how many things you think about before you get to me" reflects her feelings of being an afterthought in her partner's life. This repeated questioning underscores her emotional turmoil and the need for validation. The phrase "I feel myself falling further down your priorities" poignantly captures the pain of feeling undervalued, as she grapples with the reality that her partner may no longer prioritize her as they once did.
The lyrics also touch on the aftermath of a breakup, with the narrator recalling a moment when her partner left. The line "That never made too much sense to me" indicates confusion and unresolved feelings about their past. The mention of her partner seeking sympathy after causing her pain highlights a lack of accountability, further complicating the emotional landscape of their relationship.
The repetition of the line "I still make excuses for you constantly" reveals the narrator's struggle to reconcile her feelings. Despite the hurt, she finds herself justifying her partner's actions, showcasing the complexity of love and attachment. The concluding question, "Am I not even a second thought?" encapsulates the song's emotional core, leaving listeners with a haunting sense of longing and vulnerability.