Oh dressed in faded Levi's and a tie-dyed grannie vest
Which he put praising on the world and he grooved at Fillmore West
Cos his hair is long, you'll call him seven kinds of fool
It's just the battledress of Captain Cool

(Oh Robert, you're really cool)
He'll never say thank you, instead he'll say "That's nice"
And given any minute, he won't breathe more than twice
When he talks, he talks as though he's running out of fuel
So harken to the words of Captain Cool

Calls a spade a spade but he calls the law the first
He likes his music loud because it gives him such a buzz
You and I may pass him in the street and say "Bless me"
But sticks and stones may break the bones of one so cool as he

Never has a cigarette, he's always on the catch
Cos that's the only way he gets to keep his raver's bay
But ain't we all the same? Didn't we all go to school?
Everybody likes to think they're Captain Cool