Don't want no foo foo hair cut sitting on my head
Don't want no foo foo hair cut sitting on my head
Man I'd rather be bald, I'd rather be dead

Oh the best of my generation been destroyed by stylin' mousse
Some of the best hair of my generation
Been destroyed by that evil stylin' mousse
Yeah there's only one moose, and Bullwinkle's on the loose

Don't be like Charlie Sexton, a prisoner to your haircut
Don't be like Charlie Sexton, a prisoner to your haircut
Might wind up on a magazine, looking like a nut

Them New York hair farmers
With their hair sticking up so high
Man if it gets caught in a fan
Them poor boys they might die

Man that would be a shame, it would be a pity
You know one morning I woke up
From a nice night of sleeping, I woke up and I said to myself, "Mojo, Mojo, you cannot judge a foo foo by his haircut
Can't just a book by it's cover
You can't decide, you know, if a person's good or bad
Just because they got one of them big poofter haircuts sticking up. Mojo, there might be a great cosmic kid inside one of them people
One of them people all dressed in black, looking all like they're gonna die and everything, they're just regular folks like me and you
Them heavy metal guys, they're regular folks like me and you
So man, for brotherhood, for peace, fraternity, equality, I decided that I, Mojo Nixon, was gonna get a foo foo haircut

That's right. End the war between the rockers and the poofters, gol dang it
So I went and got me one of them haircuts, man I'm talking about a mighty big one

They had to get a hair extension piece on me man, sticking three, four feet up the air, big black thing, lot of styling mousse on it, bees and birds and bats were flying all around that sucker, looked like a couple of bats had a nest up there or something, might have been vampire bats or something, you know, I dig it man
So I'm sitting there and I'm walking around and everybody's seeing me and they're saying, "Moj, we're so bummed Mojo, we can't believe, we can't believe Mojo, you got a foo foo haircut."
I said, I did it all for brotherhood, I did it all for brotherhood

So one Sunday afternoon, you know what I do, I go down to my local go-kart track man, and I get in that there little go-kart and I think I'm gonna take off like Wendell Scott, and the guy that owns the place he comes up to me and he says, "Uh, say Moj... Moj, I know you like go-karts a whole lot and everything, but that haircut, mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm, Mojo, you can't be racing with that haircut, not only are the bats scaring everybody, but you might poke somebody's eye out with that thing. I mean, it's just way up there, Mojo, it's out of control. I know that haircut helps you get in them New York clubs and everything, makes you feel real existential and what not, but no go-karts Mojo."

I thought about this for a second, I was mighty discombobulated, I said to myself, "Discombobulation is sweeping the nation!" and...

Don't want no foo foo hair cut sitting on my head
Don't want no foo foo hair cut sitting on my head
Man I'd rather be bald, I'd rather be dead