My father never talked a lot
He just took a walk around the block
'Til all his anger took a hold of him
And then he'd hit
My mother never cried a lot
She took the punches, but she never fought
'Til she said, "I'm leaving and I'll take the kids"
So she did
[Pre-Chorus]
I say, "They're just the ones who gave me life"
But I truly am my parents' child
[Chorus]
Scattered 'cross my family line
I'm so good at telling lies
That came from my mother's side
Told a million to survive
Scattered 'cross my family line
God, I have my father's eyes
But my sister's when I cry
I can run, but I can't hide
From my family line
[Verse 2]
It's hard to put it into words
How the holidays will always hurt
I watch the fathers with their little girls
And wonder what I did to deserve this
How could you hurt a little kid?
I can't forget, I can't forgive you
'Cause now I'm scared that everyone I love will leave me
Scattered 'cross my family line
I'm so good at telling lies
That came from my mother's side
Told a million to survive
Scattered 'cross my family line
God, I have my father's eyes
But my sister's when I cry
I can run, but I can't hide
From my family line
[Post-Chorus]
From my family line
[Bridge]
Oh-oh
All that I did to try to undo it
All of my pain and all your excuses
I was a kid, but I wasn't clueless
(Someone who loves you wouldn't do this)
All of my past, I tried to erase it
But now I see, would I even change it?
Might share a face and share a last name but
(We are not the same, same)
[Chorus]
Scattered 'cross my family line
I'm so good at telling lies
That came from my mother's side
Told a million to survive
Scattered 'cross my family line
God, I have my father's eyes
But my sister's when I cry
I can run, but I can't hide
From my family line
From my family line (Mmhm)
About
“Family Line” is the heartbreaking eighth track off singer-songwriter Conan Gray’s sophomore studio album. Gray previously teased the melancholic theme of the track on social media prior to its release.
The song is a soft ballad detailing Conan’s childhood and his parental relationships. Though shockingly personal, Gray has no problems being candid with listeners. In an interview with Paper Magazine, Conan explains:
The very fact that it’s uncomfortable for me to talk about it is the reason I have to talk about it… It’s better to feel something than to just live your whole life hiding from feeling anything.
Q&A
Find answers to frequently asked questions about the song and explore its deeper meaning
It’s about watching generations of hurt people pass their pain onto their kids, and then their kids pass them onto their kids. In my childhood, I felt like I was told that I was going to end up living this very specific life and that I wasn’t going to have a bright future because of my past. ‘Family Line’ is me saying, ‘Well, it doesn’t really matter. I can be whatever I want to be.’ I was so scared to put it out; that was the reason why I needed to put it out.
— Via Apple Music
On the songwriting process, Conan told Paper Magazine:
The song “Family Line” was probably the hardest to write [for that reason]. It talks about my past in a more blunt way than I’ve spoken about it before. When it comes to talking about my past and my childhood, the truth is that I’m not as far removed from when I was a child. It’s a harder thing to talk about and it took forever to write because I was so afraid. The whole process ended up taking like two years in total to finish it. The very fact that it’s uncomfortable for me to talk about is the reason I have to talk about it. Hopefully in the end, it makes people who relate feel like they aren’t alone in their situation and make them feel like it’s not something they have to hide, because I spent my whole childhood and all of my adulthood running from my past. This is my first time [embracing it all].