[Verse 1]
Where is she when the little thing cries?
She lies in a bed with a friend of mine
But some nights she'll run back in fright
If she picks on a dick that's too big for her pride

[Chorus]
Oh! Oh! Why did I ever go marry her?
I was a child!
I'm holding the baby
She's ran-tanning constantly
She saw me coming for miles
She saw me open wide

[Verse 2]
Four o'clock and her key's in the lock
And she's been on the wink and she's stinking of drink
Wakes the kid so I put him to sleep
And she's in there all night doubled over the sink

[Chorus ]
Oh! Oh! Why did I ever go marry her?
I was a child!
I'm holding the baby
She's ran-tanning constantly
She saw me coming for miles
She saw me open wide
She saw me coming for miles

[Outro]
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide