[Justin Bieber:]
I did a remix to this song
Nobody knows why
It's so random, oh
Turn every talented song into pop trash
Oooh, I am...

Cultural appropriating
Latin culture, cause I know nothing

[Deadpool:]
Did you know, that 'Despacito' means 'slowly'?
That's how I kill my enemies

[Justin Bieber:]
This song was really popular, so I asked
To do a remix of it, cause I need the cash

[Luis Fonsi:]
Need more exposure
In America, this song is noise
So we let Justin ruin it with his voice

[Justin Bieber:]
I cancelled my Purpose tour. It died
Made a bunch of twelve year-olds cry
Now I'm selling $30 T-shirts
Lady: It's just a plain shirt, loser

[Luis Fonsi:]
Why are kids dancing? It's inappropriate
Americans mumble it, they don't understand it

[Daddy Yankee:]
This video became the most-viewed on YouTube

[Luis Fonsi:]
Take that, Shakira
We're the new Latin pop sensations
We will replace your song at the Soccer games
Even though nobody knows who we are

[Deadpool:]
Deadpool-cito!
Chopping people up, hang em by there, huevos!
Don't take off my mask, my face scares the niños!
Luis Fonsi: why are you here?
Deadpool: I thought I'd make a cameo
Daddy Yankee: Stupid, stupid. Stupid, stupid

[Selena Gomez:]
Justin, why are you in this song?
You are so not Mexican
My name's Selena Gomez
Who's this? She has skinny legs
Justin Bieber: Selena, you're so annoying, that's why your songs are flopping
Selena Gomez: Justin, you're a Bad Liar, you have my songs on your iPod
Deadpool: Señoritas, señoritas
Calm down, have some pizza
Selena Gomez: Sorry, I hate pineapples
Justin Bieber: I don't like cheese
Selena Gomez: Oh, here comes The Weeknd
He is my new boyfriend
Deadpool: Gosh, you must be sick
Bet he's got a big...

Selena Gomez: TAQUITO!