(Intro)
Abcdef-gun, no fun, Luke, you are my son
In my chair, I've spun, NASCAR race, you've won
I've got huge buns, Krabby Patties, they're done
You know you're #1 like Smitty Werbenjägermanjensen

(Verse 1)
'Member when I said we'd forever break up?
Time to face it now, we better make up
Refriend each other on Facebook
Time to keep acting sussy
Showing up to class, gon' pay attention
Not doing Schoology, no connection
Thеse lame-os will do anything for my affection
Thеy diss me as if I was gay

(Bridge)
I was into this, but you can't judge me now
'Cause I got head lice
Now you run away, I'ma judge you now

(Chorus)
Abcdef-gun, no fun, Luke, you are my son
In my chair, I've spun, NASCAR race, you've won
I've got huge buns, Krabby Patties, they're done
You know you're #1 like Smitty Werbenjägermanjensen
Na na na na na na na na, abcdef-gun

(Verse 2)
This frickin' album better be a hit
Otherwise I won't be happy, not even 1 bit
Trust me, you're great, but you can't see it
Never put yourself below me

(Bridge)
I was into this, but you can't judge me now
'Cause I got head lice
Now you run away, I'ma judge you now

(Chorus)
Abcdef-gun, no fun, Luke, you are my son
In my chair, I've spun, NASCAR race, you've won
I've got huge buns, Krabby Patties, they're done
You know you're #1 like Smitty Werbenjägermanjensen
Na na na na na na na na, abcdef-gun

(Outro)
Na na na na na na na na, abcdef-gun
No fun, Luke, you are my son
In my chair, I've spun, NASCAR race, you've won
I've got huge buns, Krabby Patties, they're done
You know you're #1 like Smitty Werbenjägermanjense