Fans of Sabrina Carpenter are getting the gift of (sort-of) new music this holiday season. After teasing the track on TikTok last week, the pop singer-songwriter finally dropped the full version of her steamy Christmas tune “A Nonsense Christmas.” The song features the same beat and melody as her single “Nonsense,” off her 2022 fifth studio album emails i can’t send, but that doesn’t seem to bother fans, who have already sent the song soaring into the Top 5 on the Genius Top Songs chart.
Like the original, “A Nonsense Christmas” was produced by Julian Bunetta. The lyrics—written by Bunetta, Carpenter, and Steph Jones—tell a similar story of lust as “Nonsense,” except instead of Carpenter’s feelings turning her into an anxious blabbermouth, they turn her into a confident, smooth-talking vixen.
Carpenter starts us off with a not-so-subtle Christmas-themed metaphor for her crush’s you-know-what.
Think I only want you under my mistletoe
I might change your contact to “Has a Huge North Pole” (Ha, ha)
She shoots her shot on the pre-chorus, where she offers to warm him up with just her tongue.
Let me come warm you up, you been out in the snow
Baby, my tongue goes numb, sounds like, “Hoe, hoe, hoe” (Ha, ha)
On the hook, Carpenter reveals her Christmas list. She only wants one thing.
You’re my wish list
Lookin’ at you got me thinkin’ Christmas
She uses a reference to A Christmas Carol author Charles Dickens to make clear exactly what she wants out of that gift.
I need a Charles Dickens
You’ll be Santa Claus and I’ll be Mrs
I’ll take you for a ride, I’ll be your vixen
On the second verse, Carpenter pays her man a big compliment.
I’m talkin’ deckin’ all the halls
I’m talkin’ spikin’ eggnog
I’m talkin’ opposite of small
I’m talkin’ big snowballs (Ha-ha-ha-ha)
Carpenter must’ve been good this year—she gets everything she wanted on the outro.
Look at all those presents, that’s a big sack
Boy, that package is too big to gift wrap
Woke up this morning, thought I’d write a “Christ-smash”
If the full version of “A Nonsense Christmas” is a little too R-rated for your liking, don’t blame Carpenter—blame the internet for making her teaser go viral. “Y’all made me do this,” Carpenter tweeted alongside the release of the song.
You can read all the lyrics “A Nonsense Christmas” on Genius now.
