No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no
No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no
That's what I am
Please understand
I want to be your holy man
No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no
Ain't never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no
That's what I am
Please understand
I want to be your holy man

No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no
Don't make me do it without the fez on
Oh no
That's what I am please understand


Lyrics submitted by AbFab

The Fez Lyrics as written by Paul Lawrence Griffin Donald Jay Fagen

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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The Fez song meanings
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25 Comments

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  • +7
    General Comment

    the fez is 70's slang for condom

    tennisluvr71on February 29, 2012   Link
  • +4
    Song Meaning

    Fez on sounds exactly like faison in French, which means "do it", so the song becomes "don't make me do it without the do it" - but in the colloquial French it means permission, essentially. So there is a hidden double meaning implying rape - which is perfectly consistent with the entire album, The Royal Scam. Every song is about a criminal act, culminating with the greatest criminal being the government.

    Counterclockwerkon February 10, 2018   Link
  • +2
    General Comment

    And all this time, I thought it was in reference to the Shriners, and how they open doors to success for their own members. Interesting. I think the condom idea would be a reach if not for the fact that the band is named after a dildo in the first place.

    Nightvoiceon December 19, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    It is disco, plain and simple. And perhaps they were trying to cash in, but not without a little poison in the sugar. I remember hating disco (had a "Disco Sucks" t-shirt) at the time, but I had to like this song because it was Steely Dan. In truth I did like disco, but as a pure-bred white boy in a white part of the country, wouldn't/couldn't admit it...

    I never knew about fez == condom until recently, so I just thought it was "cool" to think you might have a "funny hat" on in bed.

    mumajoron July 24, 2009   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    I love how he emphatically states that no he's never gonna do it without the fez on, and adamantly exclaims he AIN'T never gonna do it without the fez on, but in the end he's practically begging her not to make him do it without the fez on. Great jam.

    cyclopian1on December 25, 2009   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    Hahahahaha...Its steely dan doing a safe sex public service announcement.

    noirtriptylineon March 01, 2010   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    This one always reminds me of a friend I had in high school who refused to take his socks off during sex. lol

    pairadocson February 08, 2011   Link
  • +1
    My Interpretation

    I think I read somewhere that Becker and Fagen did intend this to be a song promoting condom use (and actually stated as much).... But I still like to interpret it as a song about someone with a weird fetish and the need to roleplay a certain way to get off ("I wanna be your holy man")--makes it a funny song to me, and more in keeping with the band's general wry sense of humor which I've come to love about them. Somehow public service announcements (even subtle ones) seem out of character for them.

    Ulkeshon August 19, 2012   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    It's not a disco song. Disco songs of that era were characterized by a steady 1/4 kick drum pulse -- this is anything but. Never heard the reference to condom use, but it would make sense, ironically, given the name of the band.

    Dendogon April 17, 2013   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    I've posted previously that this is probably about gay culture. Disco and someone's comment that the fez was gay slang for condom.

    Captain Obvious has to point out that Fagen's irony is in the line "I want to be your holy man".

    Religious views against condoms/masturbation are derived from an Old Testament reading where someone was supposed to impregnate his brother's wife after he died (as was the custom) but he pulled out and "wasted his seed".

    So basically Fagen is doing what he does best, besides his musical songwriting abilities.

    bkabbotton February 08, 2014   Link

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