Don't Stand So Close to Me

This song has been spot-on for me since I heard it in the 10th grade.

I had a teacher whose mentorship brought out a phenomenal level of talent in skills I did not know I possessed. Leading to a vastly different future from the one life and family had planned out for me. Through his 3 years of mentorship, being his star pupil was perceived as a teacher's pet. We shared our secret language of me entering class and putting on a song and he would respond with another song and we would talk through the music selections that day in his class. Often about heavy things I couldn't verbalize but the music could. He was much more of a help than any other adult in my life. His being a not quite young but very attractive man made him the feature in many of the girls I knew fantasies. During these 3 years, he went through a rather messy divorce ( wife cheated proven) yet he was the one accused of cheating with me when it was debunked the stink of it still hung around him. He was such a phenomenal teacher and stand-up guy in the community, that it didn't stain his reputation much just lowkey gossip. I always had a crush on him and admittedly he starred in many of my fantasies. After graduation, I spent the summer house-sitting for him before I headed to college. He came back just before I left and I approached him when we were alone in his house. He turned me down. I asked why he never touched me despite my obvious hints these past years. He played this song (music was a language we both shared ). He said he was not immune to my charms but he was the adult and what I felt was not love in the way I thought it was. He loved me enough in another way to not take advantage of that. He told me to go off enjoy college have some experiences and we can revisit this convo when I was 25. We revisited it at 25 over a nice dinner in a restaurant where others kept assuming we were a couple. This man I have known since I was 16 pretty and precocious. By then I understood what he meant and what a good thing he did for me. We never consummated the growing physical attraction between us and continued to be as we always were until he died. He was the first man in my life who desired me that I can look back on and say without a shadow of a doubt loved me.

Well... This one is pretty obvious, do I really have to spell it out for you?

Just for those who don't already know... What he means when he says "That book by Nabakov", he's referring to the novel by Vladimir Nabakov called "Lolita" about a grown man who moves into a lady's house and has an affair with her 12 year old daughter. At first he finds his acts totally justified, but nearing the end, he sees the creep he really is..

I think this song is about a student that wants to have sexual relations with her teacher, but I don’t think that he does, I think its just implied that he had, and he’s accused because she made it seem like they had sex. But I could be wrong.

When I first heard this song, I didn't have much of an idea where it came from (inspirationally speaking), cause I didn't get that Nabokov part listening to it (no net back then, so no lyrichs). And when I later found out Sting used to be a teacher at a Girl school, I said "Well, no wonder". But I was a bit in shock ("He couldn't have! She must have been like, 15!") But I later reab an interview (yes, I had net, finally), and Sting denied having such an afair when a fan asked him about it. I was so relieved! :)

From Chris Robinson: I know 'Don't Stand So Close to Me' takes some influence from Nabakov's 'Lolita' but is there SOME autobiographical influence? After all, you were a teacher.

Sting: ...absolutely not! How dare you?

From Mr Showbiz Celebrity Lounge Webchat transcript [1995], I am surprised by Sting’s apparent indignation over the question when the song’s content and the idea that he was a teacher could lead many people to that possible conclusion if they weren’t privy to the contents of his mind. Surely being a perceptive man, this might have occurred to him but then perhaps he was just in a mood when he did this particular interview. Perhaps it was just that CAPS have a way of being curiously accusatory and he reacted to this …

Sting used to be an English teacher before making the big time.

I think its pretty simply about the situation in general girl likes teacher and the teacher feels the attraction back and is trying to resist it. Ive been the girl in this situation..... ultimately it ended up as a short affair and alot of sneaking around, after i graduated we kept in contact for a while but it all kinda cooled off....and one thing i think was that i felt like i was using a manipulating him way more then he ever did me.

interesting thing to ponder tho....i was 17 at the time....not a minor and he was 25....i probably wouldnt have thought this was anything to do with paedophilia.....i think it would be hard for a young guy teaching and being around attractive girls all the time who throw themselves at him.....i feel way more sorry for the teacher then the child.....maybe thats what hes trying to point out....that sometimes its not the teacher being creepy and controlling....its the girl being crazy and in loveand willing to do anything...

Well, I’d read “ that book by Nabokov” and the opening in particular of DSSCTM is soo sinister, that I wasn’t at all surprised to have Sting confirm my gut feeling about the song’s meaning in 1993:

“That opened the gates, and out it came: the teacher, the open page, the virgin, the rape in the car, getting the sack, Nabakov, all that."

ultimateclassicrock.com/police-dont-stand-so-close-to-me/

Very dark song, DSSCTM. And a very misunderstood one, I think. The Police were well ahead of their time when it came to dark songs about toxic little men.