Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
See the tree, how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it
Was just a twig
Then the first snow came and she ran out
To brush the snow away
So it wouldn't die
Came runnin' in all excited
Slipped and almost hurt herself
And I laughed till I cried
She was always young at heart
Kinda dumb and kinda smart
And I loved her so
And I surprised her with a puppy
Kept me up all Christmas Eve two years ago
And it would sure embarrass her
When I came in from workin' late
'Cause I would know
That she'd been sittin' there and cryin'
Over some sad and silly late, late show
And honey, I miss you and I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you if only I could
She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I'd be mad
But what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck
I came home unexpectedly
And caught her cryin' needlessly
In the middle of a day
And it was in the early spring
When flowers bloom and robins sing
She went away
And honey, I miss you and I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you if only I could
One day while I was not at home
While she was there and all alone
The angels came
Now all I have is memories of honey
And I wake up nights and call her name
Now my life's an empty stage
Where honey lived and honey played
And love grew up
And a small cloud passes overhead
And cries down on the flower bed
That honey loved
And see the tree how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
And I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it
Was just a twig
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it
Was just a twig
Then the first snow came and she ran out
To brush the snow away
So it wouldn't die
Came runnin' in all excited
Slipped and almost hurt herself
And I laughed till I cried
She was always young at heart
Kinda dumb and kinda smart
And I loved her so
And I surprised her with a puppy
Kept me up all Christmas Eve two years ago
And it would sure embarrass her
When I came in from workin' late
'Cause I would know
That she'd been sittin' there and cryin'
Over some sad and silly late, late show
And honey, I miss you and I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you if only I could
She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I'd be mad
But what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck
I came home unexpectedly
And caught her cryin' needlessly
In the middle of a day
And it was in the early spring
When flowers bloom and robins sing
She went away
And honey, I miss you and I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you if only I could
One day while I was not at home
While she was there and all alone
The angels came
Now all I have is memories of honey
And I wake up nights and call her name
Now my life's an empty stage
Where honey lived and honey played
And love grew up
And a small cloud passes overhead
And cries down on the flower bed
That honey loved
And see the tree how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
And I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it
Was just a twig
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So it doesn't take a rocket scientist to pick up the fact that this is one super polarizing song. It seems people either love it and lose their s#$t crying over it because they perceive it as a sad, moving little song about a man mourning the loss of his wife. Or they despise it for being saccharine, cloying and generic. I can say whole heartedly that I fall very much into the former category in terms of reaction, IE, I bawl like a baby. However, it seems the reasoning is a bit on the unconventional side. My interpretation of this song is not that it is simply a sentimental rumination of a sad man mourning the death of wife, but instead a tragic and somewhat sinister allusion to an incredibly unhealthy relationship between a deeply selfish, oblivious man and a clinically depressed woman that who was driven to suicide in large part by his selfishness that he remains oblivious to. This only really becomes apparent when you remove the melody of the song a focus entirely on the lyrics, but my god, read between the lines and it's very plain that whats being described is actually an incredibly toxic relationship. The narrator alludes from the beginning that he often laughs at his wife, either because she sliped and hurt herself, it which case no husband should ever be laughing, or simply because he perceives her as being very childish. He even inadvertently puts her down several time over the coarse of the song, such as when he describes her as "Kinda dumb" but far more tellingly the reasoning behind his perception of her being immature is rooted in the allusion that she is overly compassionate, such as her actions with the sapling tree in the snow, or the fact that she demonstrates extreme emotional fragility, as he often finds her crying for reasons very minor of no apparent reason at all. Every one of those behaviors can very easily be interpreted as manifestations of clinical depression. As if that's not enough, he alludes that she was frightened of his abusive temper over her damaging the car, then he confirms those fears by alluding that he went out of his way to act angry about it, neither one of those sentiments indicates a healthy relationship I can tell you. Then the fact that he says that he was just out one day for some unspecified reason and the "Angels came" what is that about? He never said honey was suffering from a terminal illness, he never alluded it was a murder, so we can presume his wife probably committed suicide from her depression, and through it all he remains totally unaware or in denial about the role he played in driving his wife to that state. And the truly tragic part is that for all his flaws, he's not a monstrous sociopath or anything. He obviously loved his wife in his way and misses her, he even demonstrates that he at least made attempts to please her, like buying her a puppy for Christmas, yet the very next line boomerangs back around to how the dog negatively affected him with it's barking, providing a final indication to how deeply his selfishness runs and the tragic reality of how often people walk in and out of toxic relationships and how easy it is for bad things to happen not simply because people themselves are inherently bad just mentally damaged and emotionally non functioning. Whew!!! Anyway that's my two-thousand cents, hope it was interesting and expanded people's appreciation for this musical poem.
I will agree that the song may be a little bit condecending and patronizing. It was, after all, written during a time when that was not an unusual way for a man to treat his 'little lady'. It may be archaic and slighly mysoginistic but it was not necessarily toxic.<br /> <br /> I would also suggest you spend less time reading between the lines and actually read the lyrics. It never says he frequently laughed at her hurting herself. What it says is that he remembers ONE time when she ALMOST hurt herself. <br /> <br /> Yes people with depression may cry, even for no reason, but people without depression cry too. If i were a stay at home wife and my husband came home unexpectedly and I were listening to this song he would definately catch me crying , possibly needlessly, because music is the one thing that can bring me to tears. For Honey it seems to have been sappy movies. Had Honey been sitting there watching Happy Days or Gilligans Island, I would be much more worried about her mental state than her crying over something that was intended to make emotional people cry.<br /> <br /> The lyrics about the car I could easily imagine being a scene on Leave it to Beaver. He was trying to mess with her. Wrong? Maybe. But relationships are unique and while it's never happened to me I could easily see how that could be a married couples dynamic and way of playing to ease a stressful time.<br /> <br /> I will commend you for stopping short of calling the man a monster. Yes, the puppy thing annoyed him. It would annoy me. That's called life. You get annoyed sometimes. Then, in retrospect, it becomes one of those moments that sticks with you and you wish to god that you were back there where that was the worst thing you had to live with. He is not selfish, he has flaws (i.e he is human). <br /> <br /> The closest exposure I have ever had to depression was a bi polar ex, so my views are not coloured by the lens of it. If you can't say the same, you have my sympathy. But not everyone shares the same experience, and what one person gets from a certain lyric can be much different depending on those experiences.
@Babyofmine, I agree with your assessment of this weird song. This is one very controlling, emotionally abusive husband. His wife commits suicide to escape her poisonous marriage and her depression.<br /> <br /> At first listen, I thought he had murdered her and that's why he sounds so regretful. But suicide makes more sense. I never, ever understood why people thought Honey died of cancer.
@Babyofmine
@Babyofmine You may be right.<br /> <br /> But you're reading a lot into this, when so much is left out.<br /> <br /> Kind of dumb and kind of smart can mean a lot of things, including (my thought) a woman is girlish and naive yet at the same time perceptive and wise.<br /> <br /> He recounts things that you make evil. He buys a puppy for her, and then mentions that it kept him up all night. She cares for the tree like a baby during the first snow and it amuses him when she slips - I see that whole scene as him simply loving it for her caregiving, something that I see him seeing now about her, and perhaps that he didn't see during her life.<br /> <br /> Her death is a mystery, and that is the way they want to make it appear. People do die suddenly and unexpectedly. My friend died at age 38 of an aneurysm; his 10-year-old son found him. My daughter's 21-year-old college roommate was found dead, alone in her apartment while on a semester away from school working in Washington, DC. My daughter said she had some type of breathing problem, but not one that anyone thought was life-threatening. My youngest daughter died in several seconds due to an accident.<br /> <br /> He does mention her crying a couple of times, one time inappropriately, just before she died. Maybe it was suicide, or she had learned of a disease that she was uncomfortable sharing.<br /> <br /> Perhaps it was depression and an overbearing, cruel husband.<br /> <br /> But I think they've left out the details intentionally.<br /> <br /> And the song is about deep regrets and mourning.
wow, just WOW. One must remember that the attitudes and the way we dealt with each other were much different back in the 60s and the genders had much more "traditional" roles. If this song were written and released now, then I would agree with your interpretation of the lyrics but I do think he was writing about how she passed suddenly and unexpectedly, not necessarily a suicide, and the memories he had of her. I know, for myself, I remember my father with much fondness and sadness for both his silly side, his bluster and gruff mannerisms, his angry moments (rare but we all have them) - sometimes I laugh about ALL of it and other times, I cry about ALL of it. It's just the nature of the beast
@Babyofmine thank you for this interpretation. I've loved this song since I was a child, and it has definitely made me bawl like a baby on numerous occasions. Still, I always had a hard time trying to make sense of the lyrics. In particular I was never sure whether it was about his wife or his daughter. This should have rang a few alarm bells in itself, though I guess it also says a lot about how many folks looked at the roles in a relationship back in the day. <br /> Your interpretation makes perfect sense though, and adds another layer to the song, which makes me like it even more. Based on this interpretation it fits in what you could call the 'American Gothic' category of destructive relationship songs. Strangely, this category contains some of my favorite songs, like the grim, 'deceived veteran's revenge fantasy' tale in Kenny Rogers' 'Ruby', Cake's 'Daria' and pretty much everything by Steely Dan. And now also 'Honey'. Thanks!
this song is so beautiful and sad :(
This song is pretty hokey as far as songs go. I love it though, I think its very bittersweet. I'm not ashamed.
I love a song with a story in it and this one is great beautiful and sad even if it is a big creamy cheese cracker. I first heard it as a child and can still remember my mothers disappointed face when I asked her if honey had died from a head injury caused by the car accident. Thinking back her answer was even stranger as she told me honey passed away with cancer. Which is what most people think and it says nothing about that in the song.
@mrrees I think people assume that because he caught her crying needlessly in the middle of the day andnthe assumption would be because she knew she was dying and that would most likely be cancer.<br /> <br /> HOWEVER, if it were cancer, it seems likely she wouldn't have died alone. That she was alone makes it seem unexpected. <br /> <br />
@mrrees “a big creamy cheese cracker” – lol!<br /> <br /> I’m thinking she was depressed and decided to end it all myself.
This is one giant hunk of Velveeta. It belongs on a compilation album with Austin Robert's "Rocky" and. David Geddes's "Run Joey Run."
That album should come with a free "Love Story" DVD.
@Zorro3. Oh yeah! And "Last Kiss" by Wayne Cochran and "Billy Don't Be a Hero" by Bo Donaldson.
@Zorro3 Terry Jacks: "Seasons In The Sun."
This song hits home in more than one way.
I think of my ex-wife, who was kind of dumb and kind of smart. Innocent. And kind. And tolerant. Always trying to soothe me. Until our 13-year-old daughter died. I know now that she had a nervous breakdown that day – probably deep depression or complicated grief, in the clinical terms. And she changed after that. I wanted my old wife, but she really couldn’t fulfill my needs any more. And one day she simply ran away, leaving me and our (surviving) kids behind in shock.
Just as the singer has, I still feel longing for her, the one who was kind of dumb and kind of smart, the one who was there before our daughter died. I have regrets, just as he does. That I could have kept things together if I had reacted differently and better when she retreated into herself after our daughter died. The thoughts of the good times before our daughter died - like the good times that he mentions.
And the tree. We planted one down by the river as a memorial to our daughter not long after she died. Within a couple weeks, a record flood washed it away, creating more turmoil. But this mostly makes me think of past failure, and of a love lost as lives abruptly changed.
@Dad1 I'm sorry to hear you lost your daughter .. and your wife. I hope you have found some peace and happiness, even though there will always be a part of your heart that is broken. Hugs
Got to know this song through Don No Soul Simmons cover. Made me remember my own silly memories. No matter gay or grim, it's those tiny little sparks... Daily life that makes me forget my wounded heart. It doesn't matter when, it may rain or it may shine... Blurry memories of us come back from time to time.
It was written in a time when we could not treat depression, he is talking about his wife and their life together and she took her life..and he is not getting over it. I do not see him as particularly abusive, more someone who did not know what to do with the depression and neither did doctors back than.
@delia17601 this was recorded in '68 and treatment for depression had been available for many many years but many people were not diagnosed properly or adequately back then. She may well have been depressed and committed suicide but that's not where I go when I think of this song. I think it's merely a man, a product of the times, that knows of no other way to express his sorrow at losing his wife. Hard to say what Bobby Goldsboro was thinking when he wrote it unless one were to actually ask him.
I kind of see it as a song about his daughter growing up? I get emotional because I think of having to leave my dad. "Now my life's an empty stage/Where honey lived/and honey played/And love grew up." The lyrics never explicitly say she was his lover. It's such a bittersweet song to me. Kind of my version of Cats in the Cradle.
I'm not so sure what this song is intended to be about, but to me, I just really like the bit about him loving a girl who is kinda of dumb and kinda smart. The way I see it, the song appears to be about a truth-telling, slightly horrible man who grins at his girl when she gets angry at him or even falls, and he may even enjoy seeing her hellish and flawed, but most of all, he's talking about his love for a girl who never changes, but really she's changing all the time and growing like a tree. When they first met, she seemed so charming and strong, but really she was fragile and broken like a twig. It's strange how sometimes an unlikely man can mend a broken girl.
@ladylila posted this twice on accident!