Like a lot of the other comments are saying, I think this mainly about voyeurism. If the song was about his girlfriend, then why would he use the word spy. If you are a spy it means you shouldn't be caught, that is kind of the whole point, and if you are a voyeur, the whole point of the pleasure you get from it, is the fact that the other people don't know you are watching them. See a bit of a connection there?
I wanna get drunk and pass out on the floor
Work myself into convulsions, beat my head against the door
I wanna cut my skin, cut it until I bleed
I wanna feel pain, it's the life that I lead
Abuse myself, I, I, I, I wanna abuse my body
Cut it deep, make it bleed
Throw my guts out on the floor
Cut my face until I, when I get knocked
I wanna die before I get old
Get fucked up, then die
I wanna die, die, die I wanna die
Kill me, motherfucker
I never died before
Bury me under the floor
Stick me in the heart, I ain't got one anyway
Stick me in the ass, that's the best part of me
Because I don't care if I live or die
It just don't matter, kill me anyway
I wanna abuse myself, yea
Shoot me, stab me, cut my throat
Hit me with a fucking axe, I just won't croak
Look me in the eyes and what do you see
Stab me in the eyes, you can piss on me
Kick me in the balls, I just don't care
Rip out my brains, pull my fucking hair
Abuse me, kick me, cut me 'till I bleed
Fuck me, kick me, shit on me
I just don't care you see
Destroy me, I wanna destroy you
I wanna die, I don't wanna get old
I don't wanna die old, I wanna die young
I wanna be a scumfuc and I wanna die young
Don't wanna play in no fucking 60's band
Kill me, rape me, do with me what you will
I'm gonna fuck a girl who doesn't take the pill
Maybe she'll have a little boy, or maybe a little girl
I really don't give a fuck, 'cause I'll be dead it's just another world
That's right, abuse me, kick me, cut me, stab me, axe me
Knife me, fork me, fuck me, suck me, beat me, fuck me
Blow me, eat me, stab me, abuse my body, abuse my body
Work myself into convulsions, beat my head against the door
I wanna cut my skin, cut it until I bleed
I wanna feel pain, it's the life that I lead
Abuse myself, I, I, I, I wanna abuse my body
Cut it deep, make it bleed
Throw my guts out on the floor
Cut my face until I, when I get knocked
I wanna die before I get old
Get fucked up, then die
I wanna die, die, die I wanna die
Kill me, motherfucker
I never died before
Bury me under the floor
Stick me in the heart, I ain't got one anyway
Stick me in the ass, that's the best part of me
Because I don't care if I live or die
It just don't matter, kill me anyway
I wanna abuse myself, yea
Shoot me, stab me, cut my throat
Hit me with a fucking axe, I just won't croak
Look me in the eyes and what do you see
Stab me in the eyes, you can piss on me
Kick me in the balls, I just don't care
Rip out my brains, pull my fucking hair
Abuse me, kick me, cut me 'till I bleed
Fuck me, kick me, shit on me
I just don't care you see
Destroy me, I wanna destroy you
I wanna die, I don't wanna get old
I don't wanna die old, I wanna die young
I wanna be a scumfuc and I wanna die young
Don't wanna play in no fucking 60's band
Kill me, rape me, do with me what you will
I'm gonna fuck a girl who doesn't take the pill
Maybe she'll have a little boy, or maybe a little girl
I really don't give a fuck, 'cause I'll be dead it's just another world
That's right, abuse me, kick me, cut me, stab me, axe me
Knife me, fork me, fuck me, suck me, beat me, fuck me
Blow me, eat me, stab me, abuse my body, abuse my body
Lyrics submitted by NPIx
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More Featured Meanings
The Spy
Doors, The
Doors, The
Grand Theft Auto
Insane Ian
Insane Ian
The way this song speaks to me🥺🥺when I sing it I feel like I relate
Battle Royale
Word Alive, The
Word Alive, The
This song is def a twin to "Unfair" (a song she has been quoted as saying is about falling in love with someone who is already in a relationship) so it is presumably about the same person. Given the references to buying an apartment and not being able to see her love interest "after tonight," it's most likely that she's moving away and she'll "wait a day to break the bad news" (i.e. notifying him that she's leaving once she's already gone).
And, of course, the fact that she sees in him a fellow "idealist" and "dreamer" (terms commonly given to people with the INFP personality on the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)) portends that she'll always be left wondering if they would've been perfect together.
Light Up The Sky
Van Halen
Van Halen
The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
Dreamwalker
Silent Planet
Silent Planet
I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
gg was nuts
its fun watching him on video and watching him destroy himself
crazy as hell