Let It Happen

As someone with mild schizoid personality disorder, I feel like this song relates to that experience a lot. "I have a ringing in my head And no one to help me answer it Even with you close enough to kiss" The feeling of "loneliness in the midst of a crowd" is how I feel whenever I am around people. I do (deep deep down) want to connect with people and have close relationships, but I have no idea how to start a relationship or be emotionally intimate. Social interaction is like a foreign language to me.

"Talk, talking a lot, but it's still talk Gotta love how it's somehow all on me ...Say whatever you want cause I can laugh it off" another symptom of SPD is 'Indifference to either praise or criticism.' For me, I simply never trust what people say to my face. I simply assume anything they say is for their own benefit somehow. and "thinking about it can't help me let go"- I try to tell myself I'm being paranoid, but the suspicion is like an involuntary bodily reflex I can't control.

"All the petty scenes And all the pretty things" "I must look like I'm running away To you at your faster pace" 'Indifference to social norms and conventions. Emotional coldness, detachment or reduced affection. Limited capacity to express either positive or negative emotions towards others.' I often feel like a visitor to an alien society that I know nothing about. I know other people think I'm cold or aloof or indifferent to other people, but I feel like this is just as much society's fault. I'm not mean or cruel, I just don't act the way people think I'm <supposed> to, because I <don't know how to> even though I try. I look like I'm a loner because I don't like other people, because I choose to be, but I really just don't have basic social skills.

"Yeah, I'm the evil one who said: 'Gonna let everything just happen'" This kind of goes with the above: passivity or fear of doing something wrong being perceived negatively.

Anyway, that's how I relate to the song.