So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
Well if you wanted honesty
That's all you had to say
I never want to let you down or have you go
It's better off this way
For all the dirty looks
For photographs your boyfriend took
Remember when you broke your foot
From jumping out the second floor?
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out
What will it take to show you
That it's not the life it seems?
I told you time and time again
You sing the words
But don't know what it means
To be a joke and look
Another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook
For the last time
Take a good hard look
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out
Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book
But the pages all are torn and frayed
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)
But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this
I'm okay (trust me)
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay (kay)
That's all you had to say
I never want to let you down or have you go
It's better off this way
For all the dirty looks
For photographs your boyfriend took
Remember when you broke your foot
From jumping out the second floor?
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out
What will it take to show you
That it's not the life it seems?
I told you time and time again
You sing the words
But don't know what it means
To be a joke and look
Another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook
For the last time
Take a good hard look
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out
Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book
But the pages all are torn and frayed
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)
But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this
I'm okay (trust me)
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay (kay)
Lyrics submitted by SongMeanings, edited by JasmineShianne
I'm Not Okay (I Promise) Lyrics as written by Gerard Way Frank Iero
Lyrics © BLOW THE DOORS OFF CHICAGO
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I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
The song is about a boy likes/love a girl a lot, and she likes him as well, but not enough to break up with her boyfriend to be with only him. They sneak around, and continue to do so though the boyfriend has nearly caught them multiple times, ("Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor"). But there is jealousy when the sees the girl with her boyfriend ("For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took"). His many attempts at convincing her to break off her relationship with her boyfriend fall short ("What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems"). He finally tells her he will no longer sneak around ("I held you close as we both shook for the last time, Take a good hard look") because it wears him out to deal with the secrecy ("You wear me out"). She makes attempts at charming him into staying, but he no longer falls for her acts ("Another line without a hook"). But he is still heartbroken ("I'm not okay"), because he did love. As much as he tells her he is all right ("But you really need to listen to me, because I'm telling you the truth, I mean this, I'm okay, trust me"), he is not.