Forever
JOYNER LUCAS Lyrics

I know you don't understand my words but you will eventually
The singer acknowledges that the child may not comprehend his message at the moment, but they will as they grow older.

And when you get older I hope you don't hold this shit against me
The singer hopes that the child does not bear a grudge against him for his past mistakes.

I hope you understand I love you more than life itself
The singer expresses his love for the child and how it is a significant part of his life.

And this is nothin' but your daddy's thoughts when he was feelin' empty
The artist reveals that the song is his personal thoughts and emotions when he was feeling lost and unfulfilled.

And everything ain't always what it seems like on the outside
The artist acknowledges that appearances can be deceiving and not everything is as it seems on the surface.

I fought so many tears so that you would never see the outcry
The singer tried his best to hide his emotions and not let the child see him cry or be unhappy.

I never wanted kids until I lived and went through hard times
The singer reflects on how he did not want to have children until he matured and went through challenging life experiences.

But you know how that shit go
The artist is aware that such events often happen in life.

Young and reckless, different women part time
The artist recalls how he was not ready for committed relationships and enjoyed dating multiple partners.

And I wasn't ready for that life yet, I was in my dark prime
The artist confesses that he was not ready to settle down at that point in his life and was struggling with personal issues.

Me and your moms ain't get along and she gave me a hard time
The singer admits that his relationship with the child's mother was strained, and she made things difficult for him.

I really think that we just crossed paths at the wrong time
The artist believes that the timing of their encounter was not ideal, leading to issues between him and the child's mother.

I wasn't happy when she said she was pregnant
The singer did not feel positive about the news of the child's mother's pregnancy.

Probably the worst news of my life, that shit was so depressing
The singer considers the news of the pregnancy as one of the most terrible things that has happened to him.

I told her she should get an abortion and I really meant it
The singer admits that he asked the child's mother to terminate the pregnancy and was sincere about it.

I'm sorry that I said that shit, yo, I was trippin'
The artist apologizes for his previous negative remarks about the pregnancy and acknowledges that he was acting irrationally.

And I never wanted a broken home to raise you from a distance
The artist reveals that he did not desire a situation where he would not be living with the child under the same roof.

Yeah I'll admit it, I was scared of that type of commitment
The singer confesses that he was hesitant to commit to raising the child due to his fear of taking on those responsibilities.

Even hopes of a miscarriage, anything bad that could happen
The singer reveals that he was so anxious about the pregnancy that he even contemplated terrible events that might have terminated it.

That'd get me out of that situation, I was livid
The artist reflects on his anger and frustration towards the circumstances he found himself in.

I felt like shit about my thoughts, that wasn't me, I'm different
The artist acknowledges that his negative thoughts about the pregnancy were not characteristic of his true nature, but rather the result of his stress and anxiety.

Plus I was dealing with some demons that I couldn't live with
The artist admits that he was grappling with some personal issues that he found difficult to cope with.

Hope you don't hate me, I was selfish, I hope you forgive me
The singer seeks the child's forgiveness for his selfish behavior and for the previous mistakes he made.

And I still remember your baby shower like it was yesterday
The artist vividly recalls the day of the child's baby shower.

And to your mom it was special, me, just another day
The singer reflects on how the child's mother considered the baby shower to be a significant event, while for him, it was just another ordinary day.

I wish that you could see the pictures, all the fake phony smilin'
The singer wishes that the child could see the photos from the baby shower, which he perceives to be a collection of forced and false smiles.

Had to pretend that I was happy, deep down I was cryin'
The singer concealed his true emotions at the baby shower and faked being happy when he was, in fact, deeply upset.

Ma asked if I was okay, I turned around and looked away
The artist reveals how the child's grandmother inquired about his well-being but he could not answer her question.

I was drying all my tears, look back to say yeah
The artist tried to dry his tears and responded positively to the grandmother's question, even though he was crying inside.

I was lyin', goddamn, how the hell I get here?
The singer acknowledges that he lied when he claimed to be okay and wonders how he ended up in that difficult situation.

This is it, this supposed to be my life
The singer acknowledges that his current status as a father should have been his life path.

This ain't how I pictured it
The artist admits that his life did not turn out the way he had hoped it would.

I never felt so damn alone, but it was more than often
The artist reveals how often he felt lonely, despite his family and friends being around him most of the time.

One of the worst days of my life, and I ain't even lyin'
The artist considers the day of the baby shower as one of the worst days of his life.

We argued when we came home, I blame myself for all this
The singer reveals that he and the child's mother had an argument after returning home from the baby shower, and he takes responsibility for the situation.

I think that I was holding a grudge 'cause she ain't get an abortion
The artist admits that he was harboring negative emotions towards the child's mother because she did not terminate the pregnancy as he had wished.

Damn
An expression of frustration, anger, or sadness.

And I know you can't understand my words but you will eventually
The singer acknowledges that the child may not comprehend his message right now but is confident that they will in the future.

I can't believe I tried to hurt you, I hope you forgive me
The singer regrets trying to cause the child harm in the past and seeks their forgiveness.

And every negative thing I said I swear I take it back
The artist would retract all the negative things he said in the past if he could.

I put my emotions in this music when I'm feelin' empty
The artist turns to music as an outlet for his emotions when he feels lonely and unfulfilled.

Please, please
An appeal for forgiveness and understanding.

I been feelin' empty
The singer admits to feeling empty and incomplete.

I hope you forgive me
The artist earnestly desires the child's forgiveness and understanding.

Peace, want to give you things my father couldn't give to, me
The artist wishes to provide the child with things that he did not receive from his own father and desires for the child to live a better life.

I think I was raised wrong, and that's just what it is to me
The artist reflects on his upbringing and believes that he was raised wrongly or inadequately.

And if you ask him then his ass gon' probably disagree
The singer expects that his father would refute his claims about his upbringing.

But whatever, whatever
The artist does not care about his father's opinion and accepts his own perception of his upbringing.

And nothing's ever made me cry as much as you, I swear
The singer affirms that the child is the most significant cause of his tears and emotions.

Your smile gives me motivation and some new ideas
The singer derives inspiration and new ideas from the child's smile and cheerful demeanor.

My worst fear is always you not knowing who I am
The singer fears that the child may not recognize or acknowledge him in the future, potentially causing a rift in their relationship.

'Cause I been on the road dreamchasing for you out here
The artist has been pursuing his dreams and working hard on the road, motivated by his desire to provide for the child.

I was the first thing that you opened your eyes to
The artist feels proud that he was the first person the child saw upon opening their eyes for the first time.

And the last one that you said goodnight to
The singer feels privileged that he is the last person the child talks to before sleeping at night.

I went home and cried to
The singer admits that he also cries after putting the child to bed.

And I bawled my eyes out, and then watched you
The artist cried before watching over the child after putting them to bed.

Glad I got you, that's a blatant fact
The artist is elated to have the child in his life and sees it as an undeniable fact.