Wet Dream
Kip Addotta Lyrics

It was April the 41st, being a quadruple leap year
The singer is referencing an imaginary date to set the surreal tone of the song.

I was driving in downtown Atlantis
The singer is describing a fictional location to further highlight the absurdity of the story.

My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was overheating
The singer's car broke down and he had to rent a different car, which was also malfunctioning.

So I pulled into a Shell station
The artist needed to refuel and possibly have his car repaired.

They said I'd blown a seal
The mechanics at the gas station informed the artist that his car has a mechanical problem that needs to be fixed.

I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay pal?"
The singer is annoyed that the mechanics made a joke about the problem, which he did not appreciate.

While they were doing that I walked over to a place called the oyster bar -- a real dive
The singer decided to pass the time while his car was being repaired by visiting a seedy bar nearby.

But I knew the owner, he used to play for the Dolphins
The artist knows the owner of the bar and shares a common interest in football.

I said, "Hi, Gil!!!"
The artist greeted the bar owner, whose name is Gil.

You hafta yell, he's hard of herring
The artist has to speak loudly because Gil has a hearing problem, which is also a pun on the fish often consumed at bars.

Think I had a wet dream Cruisin' through the Gulf Stream Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Wet dream...
The singer is fantasizing about an aquatic adventure with a woman he meets later in the song.

Gil was also down on his luck Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water
The artist reveals that Gil is having financial problems and is struggling to stay afloat in his business.

I gullied up to the sandbar He poured the usual Rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side -- heavy on the mako
The singer ordered his usual alcoholic drink from Gil, with a fish sandwich on the side.

I slipped him a fin -- on porpoise I was feeling good I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's Squids -- for the halibut
The singer gave Gil some money as a tip and also donated to a local seafood shop.

Well, the place was crowded We were packed in like sardines They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal -- what sole
The bar was busy and everyone was there to listen to the live music of a popular artist who has a fish-related pun for a name.

Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna -- "Salmon Chanted Evening" And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers Probably there to see the bass player
The artist was performing his popular song and the audience was possibly comprised of fish species that find the music appealing.

One of them was this cute little yellowtail And she's giving ME the eye So I figure, this is my chance for a little fun You know -- a piece of Pisces
The artist notices a female fish in the audience who is showing interest in him and decides to pursue a romantic encounter.

But she said things I just couldn't fathom She was too deep, and seemed to be under a lot of pressure Boy, could she drink She drank like a... she drank A LOT... I said, "What's your sign?" She said, "Aquarium" I said, "GREAT!!! Let's get tanked!"
The woman he approached is too complicated for the singer to understand, and she drinks excessively. When he asked her astrological sign, she responds with an aquatic-related pun.

I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait I said, "C'mon baby, it'll only take a few minnows" She threw me that same old line "Not tonight -- I got a haddock"
The singer invites the woman to his place for a romantic encounter, but she declines using a fish-related pun to indicate she has a headache.

And she wasn't kiddin' either, 'cuz in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike He was covered with mussels He came over to me, he said, "Listen shrimp -- don't you come trolling around here" What a crab This guy was steamed -- I could see the anchor in his eyes
A large, intimidating haddock appears in the bar and confronts the artist, using fish-related curses and insults to scare him away.

I turned to him, I said, "Abalone -- You're just being shellfish" Well, I knew it was going to be trouble, and so did Gil, 'cuz he was already on the phone to the cods The haddock hits me with a sucker punch I catch him with a left hook He eels over It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel Kelpless
The artist uses a fish-related pun to insult the haddock and proves he can hold his own in a fight by knocking him out. In the end, the haddock is left helpless and defeated on the ground, immobilized like a fish.

I said, "Forget the cods, Gil, this guy's gonna need a sturgeon" Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend She came over to me, she said, "Hey big boy, you're really a game fish" "What's your name?" I said, "Marlin"
The artist jokes that the haddock needs a bigger fish to help him, and impresses the female fish with his bravado. When she asks for his name, he responds with another fish pun.

Well from then on, we had a whale of a time I took her to dinner I took her to dance I bought her a bouquet of flounders And then I went home with her And what did I get for my trouble? A case of the clams
The singer continues his romantic pursuit of the female fish and they have a great time together, but in the end, he is disappointed to discover that he has an unpleasant medical condition.

CHORUS
The chorus repeats the phrase 'Wet dream' in reference to the artist's aquatic-themed fantasy.

CHORUS/FADE
The chorus repeats and fades out at the end of the song.